Thursday, March 31, 2005

Update

We had another pretty good scare on Sunday when I started to have more pain and bleeding. We went back to Texas Women's Hospital and had an ultrasound. The baby is still hanging in there. The baby's growth and heartbeat are both good. There are two areas where the placenta has pulled away, but my doctors are optimistic. For the next four to five weeks I need to stay as still as I can. My doctor told me to think of my uterus and surrounding areas as jello and told me not to "jiggle" it too much. So the pogo stick has to go. No more horse back riding or sky diving in the near future.

I have apointments in one week and the week following. Assuming we can get through the next month, my doctors believe the placental issues will be ok. Please continue to pray. We know this baby is in God's hands. And there are no other hands we would rather this baby be in.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

bed rest is for the birds

Bed rest or couch rest, whatever you want to call it just isn't for me, I've decided. I like laying around on the couch watching t.v. plenty when someone's not telling me to do it. But there's something about being commanded to something, even something that's really not that bad, that just makes it a bad experience. My muscles are beginning to atrophy and I think I'm getting bed sores. There's a permanent imprint of my growing butt on the couch that doesn't go away even when I get up. Oh, oh, woe is me. My mom says there are worse things in life than being bored. I guess she's right.

In all seriousness, though, I will be glad when I get the green light to live life again beyond the couch. I go back to the doctor on Monday and we'll see where we're at with this pregnancy. I feel cautiously optimistic. I am hopeful that things will be different this time. I'll let you know what we find out Monday, good or bad.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Please Pray

We need your prayers. Phillip and I were going to remain discreet about this whole thing. But if you don't know what's going on, you can't pray about it.

After two miscarriages in the last year, I am pregnant again. Cause for rejoicing? Maybe. Cause for us to be scared to death? Absolutely. I spent Friday night at Texas Women's with pain and bleeding. The placenta was starting to pull away. As of Friday, the baby was still fine with a good heart beat. And now I am on bed rest at least for the week, maybe longer. Things could still go either way with this pregnancy. Please pray for the life of this baby. This baby is desperately wanted by so many people. As of right now, our needs are taken care of and we are grateful. Our hometeam is amazing! But please, please pray. I'll update as there are updates to be made. Thank you.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Mildew Anyone?

I have heard people say that the Bible speaks to every problem we can possibly encounter in our lives. And while I figured that was probably true, I didn't realize that there are instructions for dealing with mildew!! Leviticus 14: 33-57 is all about God's instruction to Moses and Aaron about mildew in your home and on your clothes. Not to poke fun at the Bible, but I do find this kind of funny. I guess at the time this is something they needed instruction on or God wouldn't have spoken to them about it. Nothing is too small for God to care about, even mildew.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Suggested Book: White Oleander

I just finished the book White Oleander by Janet Fitch. This is on the Oprah's Book Club list. Not that "The Great O" knows everything, but this was an interesting and very emotional book. I can't say it was enjoyable or that I liked it exactly, but once I started reading it I could hardly put it down. This book oozes with pain almost from beginning to end and I don't really recommend it to someone who is going through a trying time in their own life. I feel sadder having read it, which is something I didn't really need.

That said, I'm sure you just want to run right down to your local library and check it out. But I know that God speaks in and through endless ways, even through a novel that is gritty, and cold, with bad language, and speaks very little of God or Christianity. What this book has reinforced in me is how desperate our children need us in their lives. Not only need us to physically be there, but really BE there, whole, and with their every need ahead of our own. They need us to give them something they can hang onto when we're not there. And enable them to find their home outside of ourselves. Our chldren will remember us when they grow up. They will remember the years when they were two, three, and four years old and drove us totally nuts. They will remember how we dealt with them on some level. Maybe only in their dreams at night, but they will develop a grasp of who we are as their parents from these early times we spend with them.

Is my son seeing the whole, put together me or just bits and pieces of what I have to offer him at the moment? Am I making an effort to shield him from my jaded perspective of life so that he has a chance to grow up untouched by the things that have shaken me? How do I do that without hiding from him myself and my soul? Is it worse for him to really never know me or to know what has made me who I am? What a tragedy for our children to know so little about us, our pain, our humanity, and our joy. Somehow we have to instill in them what we have extracted from our experiences in hopes that they won't have to go through what we went through to get the same information.

We have a very difficult job. Too many wrong moves, and the outcome could be disastrous. We know we can't do it "right" but still we have to try.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Saturday Morning Cartoons

What has happend to Saturday morning cartoons? Now on the main channels, there aren't any cool children's shows on Saturday morning. I used to watch cartoons on Saturdays from about 7:00-11:00 a.m. or so. Ah, the good ol' days. Anyway, just a thought. Not particularly part of the mind blowing experience that will come in future posts.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Watch out

Ok, America, hold on to your shorts because a new blogger has risen. The depth of the things you will read in the coming weeks and months will surely blow your mind!