Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Trick or Treat

Phillip and Jackson are out getting free candy. I'm at home making lasagna and giving away free candy. I think maybe later we'll go out to the college. I think they're having some Halloween thing. Maybe I'll wear the Batman(girl?) thing. Not sure.



Time change

This time change is not working out for our family. I'm giong to protest. Sunday morning Jackson woke up at 6:00. Monday morning and this morning it was 6:30. He has no clue what time it is. But I do. And I don't want him to be awake that early.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Little cat

This morning before church this little cat showed up on our porch. Jackson and I went out and pet it for a little while. Jack wanted to keep it and name it, but I told him that it has a home and we can't keep it. He wanted to name it "Jackson the cat." When we got back home after church, it was gone. But now it's back. It's just made itself home in Travis' old spot. It has a flea collar so I'm sure it belongs to somebody, but you can't exactly make kittens stay in a yard. Anyway, if it hangs around for a little while, I'm going to have to feed it....and probably name it.....and well, you know, keep it. Is there a law against that?


Thursday, October 26, 2006

Thinking about homeschooling

I have never thought that homeschooling was a good idea. I had no idea why parents did it. And I swore I never would.

But.....now that I am a parent, and our kid is approaching school age, I'm thinking about it. That does not mean that we've decided that's what we're doing. We're just thinking about the pros/cons, etc. I'm not sure if I'm organized and disciplined enough to do it right. I know that Jack needs social interaction other than church. I also know that he is kind of a home body and not terribly comfortable in crowds. I don't want to make that worse. But the school system is slowly going down from what I've heard from friends/family that are in the biz. We will not be able to afford Christian schooling until I am working full time, which is not going to happen for several more years. I don't like the idea of my kid being at school for 7 hours or more to learn about 3 hours worth of material and then have to come home and do an hour or two of homework. I don't want to miss out on that much of his life. But this can't be about me. I can't homeschool him because I will miss him. That's just not a good enough reason, I guess. So, anyway, it's just something we're considering right now. We've got some time.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Just little

It seems like our various situations are so big and overwhelming and just unmanageable.

Jackson sometimes likes to think of himself as big. He likes to think that he's bigger than we are. That's a normal thing for a four year old to think. But several times in the last few days he has told us, "Mom, Dad, we're all little. Even I'm little. Everything is little." I don't think he's trying to be "deep." But, man, the wisdom in that statement is just overwhelming to me. Right now, when our fears and worries seem so big, he is reminding us that they're really not. This is not to say that our lives or our problems are insignificant. But when we view those things in the greatness of God, we are certainly little.


"If you picture Time as a straight line along which we have to travel,then you must picture God as the whole page on which the line is drawn. We come to the parts of the line one by one: we have to leave A behind before we get to B, and cannot reach C until we leave B behind. God, from above or outside or all round, contains the whole line, and sees it all."
- C.S. Lewis Mere Christianity

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Looks like I was wrong

The horn I am getting is not a "New Wonder" as the seller said it was but a "Wonder." The serial number indicates that it was made prior to the "New Wonder." Which means that it is not as valuable as I originally thought it was. But it will still be a very good instrument once it has some repairs. I'm stil very happy with the price, just not as stunned. It is from 1916.

Monday, October 23, 2006

I won!! I won!!! I'm so EXCITED!!!

I just won that auction for the tenor sax. It is a Conn New Wonder Series 1 "Chu Berry" tenor from the early 1920's. Maybe talking about how much you spent on stuff is tacky, but oh well. I just got that horn for $305.00, plus shipping. I've seen that same horn go for between $900-2,000. It is valued at about $2800 if in mint condition, which this one is not. It will need to be repadded and recorked. But the body looks great. Here are some pictures from the auction. The case is horrible in a cool way. I'll probably have to replace it.










It will probably cost an additional $350 to get it in good playing condition. And that is a dang good deal for a horn like this. I sold my sax about four years ago and I have wanted it back ever since. I am really thrilled that I got this one at this price. Now I just hope that everything is as it should be when I get the actual horn. Hopefully the seller was straightforward about everything. It may take a few months to get it ready to play, but I'm one step closer to having a saxophone again.

Bidding on ebay at the last second is a total rush.

Strange brass horn

I was looking up musical instrument repair companies in Houston on google and I came across Fleming Instrument Repair. Check out these pictures that are under their "fun" section.


Pretty cool, huh?








B.T.W. the reason I was looking at that site is because I'm hoping to win an ebay auction in about six minutes for an old Tenor Sax Conn New Wonder. It dates from about 1920 and will need some work if I get it. It looks like I may be able to get it for a good price. The person that's selling it spelled "saxophone" wrong in the description which is probably why there has not been much interest in it. These horns in good playing condition are valued at over $2000. We'll see. If I win it, I'll be posting some pictures. If I don't, I'll be pouting. Gotta go. Can't be distracted.

Finally heard something

Well, I finally heard from our agency about those two babies we were submitted for. They have both been placed with other families. So.....again.....we wait.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Conversation with Jackson

Jackson and I just had an interesting conversation. It went something like this......

Jackson: (with lightsaber in hand) When I grow up, will I be a real Jedi?

Me: (crushing his dreams) No, Jackson. Jedi aren't really real. They're just characters in a movie. When you grow up you might be daddy or a husband or a teacher or doctor or fireman or something like that.

Jackson: After I do all those things, then will I be a real Jedi?

Me: No. Nobody grows up to be a real Jedi. Jedi are not real people.

Jackson: I wish Jedi were real. Don't you wish that, Mom?

Me: Sure.

Jackson: I think everybody wishes that.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Fun with Gimpshop

We have Gimpshop now on our computer. It's kind of like Photoshop but it's free. Anyway, I've been messing with it a little but I don't really know how to do anything very complicated yet. One of the guys that works at our church office asked me to put our pastor's head on some bodies. So, this is the end result. I think Greg is going to be surprised with these on the big screen in the Student Service on Sunday night. I don't think he looks at my blog very often so I hope he doesn't see these. And please don't tell him if you know him. Let him be surprised.









Friday, October 13, 2006

Build a (fake) Bear

Phillip and I had nothing to do this evening so we went to our horrible mall. We now have a Wacky Bear at our mall. It's basically a Build a Bear knockoff. They even have a stuffing machine and little red hearts that you stick in your bear before it's sewn up. But Wacky Bear's website looks pretty junky compared to Build a Bear's. And their "furry friends" look like they're lower quality. But Wacky Bear has these blinking hearts that you can put inside the bear. I don't really get what the point of that is because you probably can't see it once it's inside the bear. Whatever.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Searching

I wrote this a couple of months ago. I just thought I would share it here.



I think that when things go terribly wrong and leave us shaken, those things can either damage us or begin to complete us. We choose what we do with those things. It is not a one-time choice and then it’s done. It is a daily, maybe even more often, decision.

I think that there is this person that I am meant to become. In a perfect world where everyone does everything right, I would have no problem becoming and maintaining myself as I am meant to be. But our reality is ridiculously far from perfect. So far that I wonder why we even have the word “perfect” in our vocabulary. When I think about what it has cost for me to have a greater understanding of myself and God, I feel very ashamed. Like why couldn’t I have learned those things without the pain. Maybe if I had been smarter or more insightful or whatever, I wouldn’t have had to loose four babies in a row to get it. And the thing is that I still don’t get it. I seem to regress all the time in what I thought I knew. Slowly, I begin to loose sight of the things that I held onto for life during the hard times. They are all taken for granted. And I begin to worry about what it will take for me to not be so flippant about what I have. What or who will be taken next?

But that sure puts me in a higher position that what I should be in, I think. Like the babies were sacrificed so that I might have a deeper meaning to my life. Like my finding myself was more important than their existence. And I don’t believe that. Strange thoughts dance around in your head when you are trying so desperately to figure out the reason behind certain events. Who am I to try and find a reason for any of it anyway? Who are any of us to try to do that? We search. That’s what we do in this life. We search for things. And understanding is just one of those things we search for.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Poof Off

Jackson told Phillip and me to "Poof off" a little while ago. Thankfully both of us were in the kitchen so he didn't see us trying to not to laugh as we told him that was NOT a nice thing to say. But I think I like it. I think I'm going to start using that when I want people to go away.

Speak up or shut up?

How do you know when you should speak up about something or just keep your mouth shut? How do you know if what you think is even important enough to be heard by other people? If people ask you for your opinion, does that really mean they want it....even if it's totally not what they want to hear?

For the most part, I just say what I think. Usually I try to rephrase the thoughts before they come out of my mouth into something a little more "user friendly." I do care what people think about me, just not enough to always agree with them. More than caring what they think about me, I just don't like to offend people or hurt their feelings. But sometimes that can't be avoided. I don't really like confrontation but I see the value in it.

I really hate the moment of being faced with a decision to say what it is I'm thinking or keep it to myself. And then so many times, the moment is gone and I wish I had said whatever it was.

My sister told me once that she would rather regret saying something than regret not saying it. I'm just not sure about that.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Kit Fisto in a tire swing


Jackson decided that Kit Fisto wanted to play on the Little People play ground. I sure hope he doesn't scare all the little children.

Jackson "wrote" a song several months ago about Kit Fisto. It's kind of along the same lines as the Obi-Wan song he "wrote" a while back. I sounds quite a bit like the Batman theme song except the words are

"Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na
Kit Fisto"

Monday, October 09, 2006

At the Pumpkin Patch

We went over to the pumpkin patch by our house and I got some pictures. Jackson wasn't thrilled to be posing for me. The fourth one down is pretty pitiful.






Parenting is hard

I talked with two of Jack's teachers today at the preschool. And they did not have very positive things to tell me about the way Jackson has been behaving. It makes me really sad to say it, but he is not the compliant, sweet little boy that he was a couple of years ago. He has gotten it in his head that he runs the show and it needs to stop. I think it's really easy for only children to develop this mindset. The hard truth is that I am starting to not like the person that he is becomming. All of the people who are strong influences in his life have some work to do. And I am putting myself at the top of that list. I spend more time with him than anyone else so it has to start with me.

I unplugged the xbox and put it away for atleast a week. If he keeps acting the way he's been acting lately, he's not going to get it back. And I'll continue to take more stuff away if that's what needs to be done.

I used to work with preschool kids. And I had some kids that I just flat out did not like. I dreaded seeing them coming. I thanked God when they missed a day. And I had to totally fake like I was glad to see them when they came back. And I do not want my son to be one of those kids. And more importantly, I don't want him to become one of those adults that people hate to be around.

I'm not exactly sure when he began to act like this and I'm not exactly sure what has caused it. But it has become a problem and it is our responsibility as his parents to see that it stops.

On a (sort of) funny side note.... his music teacher told me that he doesn't want to do any of the things they are doing in music class because he is too busy pretending to be Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader or other Star Wars characters. I know he's a four year old boy and I also know that the things they do in music class are pretty silly. But it's still not o.k. for him to disobey his teachers.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Without the camera

Jackson and I went to the park after church this morning. I decided to leave the camera at home. So, instead of taking lots of pictures and getting on Jackson's nerves, I played with him. I climbed, I swung, I slid. I still managed to get on his nerves. But I think he was very glad that we came without the camera. Besides, I've gotten so many pictures of him at that dang park, they're all beginning to look the same.

I want to capture his childhood. I want to be able to remember what he looked like at every stage of his life. I want a tangible memory of every expression. But most of the time he just wants me to put the camera down and play with him. I think what he remembers about me is more important than what I remember about him. I don't need to forget that.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Scooby Doo the Narc

Jackson was watching a Pup Named Scooby Doo this morning on Cartoon Network. It's a really stupid show. Somehow it's even stupider (is that a word??) than the original Scooby Doo. It's like all the teens are little kids and Scooby is a puppy. Really dumb. Seriously.

Anyway, he was watching it and all of a sudden they pull some kind of background check on a "suspect" and say that he used to be a champion skateboarder until he got involved in drugs. Drugs. Who is their target audience here? I would think anyone who would have any interest in watching this show would be under the age of six. Anyway, they were talking about how drugs can really mess up your life and all that stuff. Which is true, but does my four year old need to hear about drugs yet? We're still working on "stranger danger" and private parts. At the end, they find out that this guy was pretending to be some kind of monster to cover up some kind of drug trafficing. I'm not kidding. I was just waiting for Jackson to say, "What is drugs?" But he didn't. He was probably too busy thinking about what a stupid show it was.

I guess on the next episode they'll be trying to nab a pimp posing as Count Dracula or something. I don't think we'll be watching that show anymore.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Prersectly

Jackson just drew something "presectly" for me.

Not precisely, not exactly, but presectly.

Two Things

I have two things to tell you.

First of all there are two women that walk in the mornings around 8:30 in my neighborhood. I don't see them everyday, but I see them a couple of times a week. I think it's a mother and a daughter because one woman looks like an older version of the other one. Anyway, the older one never wears shoes. They walk several blocks away from where the younger one lives. And she's always barefoot. I occasionally walk outside of my own house to the car barefoot. I know that some people think that is totally gross. But anyway, just think of all the loogies that she steps on. I don't even know how to spell loogie, but I'm sure someone will inform me.


Ok, second thing. Our homestudy was submitted today for another baby. This one is a five month old boy who is Cuban/Hispanic. We should know something in a couple of weeks about both of the babies we have been submitted for.