The Hintzes go to the beach

We went out to Surfside this morning for an hour and a half or so. The boys loved it. Mikey is absolutely fearless in the water. Phillip's glasses got swept away by a giant wave. So now he'll have to get some more glasses very soon. And my poor legs and back haven't seen sunlight in I don't even know how many years. Maybe we'll go back when Phillip gets a pair of glasses and a back up pair.

And one more just to make your head spin

This one makes me dizzy.

Because I had to....

I love this kid.

I have a new chair!

I posted some pictures over on my photoblog you should take a look at. I'm super happy with them. Here's my favorite of the bunch.

Mikey update

BACH just left our house a little while ago. Mikey did really great interacting with them and giving them a good representation of his "normal" behavior. He does qualify for services so an early intervention therapist will be coming out twice a month for 45 minutes to work with him and brainstorm with us. If we feel she needs to come more or less often, I think we can request that. Kids qualify for BACH for three different reasons or a combination of those reasons. This is kind of a quick description of those reasons.

1. Diagnosis of a certain disability or disorder that requires them to need extra help.
2. Developmental delay, either physically, emotionally, or physically
3. Unusual behavior or unusual lengths the parent need to go to in everyday life with the child.

I think they're accepting him into the program on the basis of his language delay and the whole unusual behavior thing. The unusual behavior, I suppose being the occasional rocking he does. They said that lots of kids do that to self soothe or unwind and that's it's not necessarily anything to be concerned about but it could be. Also, he kind of has this need for things to be in disarray. And he hates to be confined. *Update to previous post* I kind of misunderstood this part. The fact that we have to sign with him to communicate is part of the unusual behavior thing too. Not that it's unusual to sign, but that we have to do that daily to handle him is somewhat unusual. I still may not be fully understanding this part of the equation. Phillip, feel free to clarify in the comments.

But overall, he plays with toys the way an 18 months old should and interacted with the therapists really well. He amazed Phillip and me by doing some simple puzzles and putting pegs in holes. He sat very controlled and worked on the puzzles. We have a few puzzles but they are too hard for him and he just gets mad and throws the pieces everywhere. So, honestly, I'm not really sure why he was so interested in accurately putting the puzzles together and yet, he seems to love disarray.

I think the main thing they're concerned with is his inability and/or unwillingness to use actual words. They said the signing is really great and that's helping him bridge the verbal gap. They encouraged us to keep doing that. We need to sit down and really engage him more and sing songs and nursery rhymes and that kind of thing. Also, the t.v. needs to stay off. If we do let him watch something, we need to try to interact with him while he's watching it. So, Nana, Granddad, Granny, we're going to have to start unplugging the t.v. I know that stinks, but these people seem like they know what they're talking about.

It was good to sit back and watch him play and kind of see his behavior from someone else's eyes. My fear is that they would come and try to "diagnose" him or put some label on him. Not that there's anything wrong with diagnoses. But I just think he's too young to be categorized as anything other than cute just yet. I think (and they think) we're doing a really good job of trying to figure him out and help him communicate his needs. It will be good to get input from the early intervention therapist on other ways we can help him. He's certainly a very complicated little fellow and it will be nice to have some extra help with him. I'll update again if there's anything new to report.

Nothing to do in this town

I'm glad it's summer but it's hard to keep a kid entertained in this town. You can only go to the library, Sea Center, Arts/Sciences Museum, and the Civic Center Fountain so many times. Jackson has been pretty busy this summer with camping, kids college, and swimming lessons. But we've got about a month of summer left and not much planned. Today, out of desperation for something fun, Jack and I went over to that Triple Play place on Dixie drive and dropped way too much money to ride the go carts. It was fun and I'm a pretty awesome go cart driver. Mad skills, seriously. But we only rode for 10 minutes and then we were bored again. Jackson was pretty ticked off that he wasn't allowed to drive. I let him steer for a while. He wasn't very good at it. Don't tell him I said that. I told him he did a good job. I lied. Don't burst his bubble. Anyway, we're going to have to get pretty creative to make it through the remainder of this summer without going totally broke. What do other people with kids find to do that's inexpensive and fun?

Take that, part II

Be on the lookout for jhintze#2

Some anonymous person posted on my blog as "jhintze." I guess it could possibly be my btother-in-law, but I really don't think so. So if another jhintze posts on your blog and it doesn't seem like me, let me know. Not that there's anything I can do about it or anything. I think I show up as "jenny hintze" and my picture is by my comment. Very interesting.

Some pictures at the park and a duck maternity shoot

We went to the park earlier and I brought the camera along to play with.  So, here are a few.  The last three are of a momma duck who decided to put her nest just feet from where crazy children (like mine) play.  I was making her pretty nervous by taking these pictures but she didn't leave her nest.  She even gave me a little peek at her eggs.  I hope those babies survive in that playground.  I decided to name this species of duck because I don't know what kind of duck it is.  This kind of duck shall henceforth be called a "chicken duck."  

Mikey language

Mikey communicates. Just perhaps not in the way we would like for him to communicate. But that's okay. He's just Mikey and we think he's the cutest thing. Here are some pictures I took today while he was eating along with some captions so you know what he's "saying." It's his version of American Sign. He doesn't do them all "correctly" but we know what he means and he's trying. He also says please, mommy, all done, and up but I didn't get pictures of those. It's really funny because sometimes when he really wants something bad he just starts doing some frantic signs of all these different things together. I guess you just have to see it to understand. BACH is coming out to evaluate him on the 29th. I don't know if they have therapy for strong willed.



blowing a kiss -


"More"


"I want that....figure it out quick before I have a major freak out." Usually accompanied by the sharp, quick sound "Bahh!"


first part of "Thank you."


second part of "Thank you."


"I'm getting really annoyed with you. Leave me alone or else. You've been warned."


"Daddy"


"Eat" or "drink"


This is not just a blink. This is the very deliberate face he makes when we ask him where his eyes are. Or if he is trying to ignore us because we're getting on his nerves. He'll hold this face for several seconds. It cracks us up.


"Help"

Take that!

You're my favorite

It's been good having Phillip and Jackson home for the summer, but it's also been a little weird. The noise level in the house has more than doubled somehow. I so wanted this glorious chaos and now it's here everyday beating me over the head. Mikey is hilarious and precious and exhausting and infuriating all at the same time. Jackson hums, makes weapon sounds, acts like he's hard of hearing, and makes monotonous noises all day. Phillip plays with guitar stuff in our shared office sometimes when I'm trying to think, which of course he has every right to do. I'm beginning to feel the strain of the noise. I guess if we had several more kids I'd get used to it and learn to ignore more stuff. I think the insanity is starting to get to Phillip too. I think both of us just want time alone. And we have parents in town who take the kids a lot. I don't know how other parents do it. I really don't. And we only have two kids. I guess you just do what you have to do. We know that we are very fortunate.

I feel like I have to precede this next part by telling you that we adore our kids. I know that shouldn't have to be said, but I guess it's just the guilty conscience in me.

But this is the thing, Phillip is my favorite. He's the main person in this house that I want to hang out with. He's the one who doesn't set me completely on edge. And I'm probably that for him most of the time. The more the kids annoy me, the more I look forward to having an empty nest. I've heard about married couples loosing their marriage through all the years of raising kids. And I know we still have plenty of time for that to happen to us. But I really don't think it will. Sometimes I feel like this is mine and Phillip's house and we're just letting these kids live here for a while. Sometimes when the noise level is out of control and Mikey has crumbled crackers all over the floor for the umpteenth time and Jackson is singing "Sunshine of Your Love" at the top of his lungs, I just look at Phillip and I want to run away with him.

Someday the boys may try to tell me that I favor one of them over the other. That the other brother is my favorite. And I will be quick to tell them the truth of the matter. And that truth is that neither one of them is my favorite. They both fill me equally with joy and annoyance in their own distinct and special ways. I will tell them that their daddy is my favorite.

I know some people will tell me to enjoy this time, that they grow up so fast. And I know that's true. Jackson is already six and I just can't believe how smart and independent he is. I really am enjoying this time. But Phillip and I came first and we'll be the ones who stay around after the boys grow up and leave. We are the constant in each other's craziness. And as much as I love the toys thrown all over the place and the sticky kisses and coloring with broken crayons, I also look forward to the days when it's just me and Phillip again.

He's the reason that I have these kids. He's the one who decided to venture into this parenting thing with me. He's the one who shares in the daily triumphs and struggles. And he's just my favorite.

Getting a "real job" well, kind of, well, not really

I've accepted a job at a local preschool teaching 4 year olds for the '08-'09 school year. I'll be working Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. I'm not really sure if preschool work classifies as a "real job" but at least it will supply some predictable income for my hours of work. That's not always the case with photography. I'm certainly not stopping the photography thing. We can just use a little additional income and I have done preschool stuff in the past and it's just fun. I get kids and they get me. I can't say that for many of the adults I know. Simple minds think alike, I guess. Also, Mikey will be able to go there for 50% off so that's an added bonus. Mikey will go on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I'll have that time to edit pictures, take pictures, clean the house, or just sit around and eat chips. I was actually offered a position at two different preschools and I went with the school who spoke up first. It was not really fun having to tell the other folks I had already accepted a position, but such is life. I think I'm really going to like the school. The director seems like a really cool, down to earth person. She seems like someone I would actually want to hang out with in real life. So anyway, that's the latest news if you consider that news.

Oh yeah, another reason to do it:

Networking! I can stick business cards in their little backpacks! Okay, I'm totally kidding but if their moms just happen to see the advertising magnets on the side of my truck, that's just serendipity.

The Church

I've been thinking about church a lot lately. Well, I guess you could say I've been thinking about church a lot for the last several years. Not just the church we attend (although that's certainly part of it) but The Church, the global Church of people connected through Jesus. And mostly I just have lots of questions and lots of unsettled feelings about all of it. Mostly I just know something's missing. I think what's missing from church is The Church. Yeah, we've got the buildings and the sermons and the songs and the programs but where is the heart? Where is the sacrifice? Where is the connectivity to people in dire need of love and Christ?

The church we went to prior spent more time discussing the design and budget of the stained glass than they did caring for hurting people around them. We were more concerned with doing things as we had always done them rather than thinking there might be another way. And it seems that the church we're at now is more concerned with keeping the regular attenders comfortable than inspiring those people to live a sacrificial life. And if they do sacrifice their time, we want it to be serving the other attenders. We're more concerned with how efficiently we can make lots of coffee rather than the percentage of people in our community who are wasting away, unaware that they are hopelessly lost. We, as a church want to be catered to. We want "our money" to be put to "good use." We want to be heard on important matters such as whether or not the church sign is large enough to be seen from the road. Because we want them to see us. We want them to join us rather than us joining them. We do church for ourselves.

And what's my part in all of it? I complain when we run out of caffeinated coffee. I complain when the sound mix is bad. I complain when we run ten minutes over. I complain when the stained glass is more important than the people. Complaining is easier than action. Because action is brave and complaining is weak. And at the core of who I am, I am weak and I am unwilling to take action. I only care enough to throw up my hands in frustration and walk away.

Why can't we paint the homes of the poor rather than paint elaborate stage settings? Why can't we clothe children in need rather than supplying aprons for our volunteers so they don't get their clothes dirty? Why can't we feed the hungry rather than buy donuts for our already overweight population of people? Why can't we pay the expenses of overseas missionaries rather than paying an army of church staff?

I don't know what the answers are. All I know is there has to be more to church than this. Because if there's not, I'm just no longer interested. I know Jesus Christ is alive and moving. But where is he moving? Is he moving within the walls of our churches? Is he moving in our meetings and our bullet points? Does he care about our stained glass? Does he care if we have coffee or not? I just don't know anymore.

Like mother, like son

Jackson and Mike are fighting with lightsabers. Mikey already knows what a lightsaber is for. Our house is pretty small and two active boys fighting with really long lightsabers in the living room doesn't leave much room for me to feel at peace. Just a minute ago, while they were fighting I said to Jackson (jokingly and with a smile) "I'm pretty sure you and Mikey were put on this planet to drive me nuts." And Jackson immediately responded louder and with more attitude, "You were put on this planet to drive everybody nuts!"

My response: "Nicely done."

So, there's this book I'm reading...

Sometimes I go to the Library and randomly select three or four books that I know absolutely nothing about. If they sound remotely interesting from the cover, I'll check them out. I've found some pretty good books this way. And I've found some total garbage. For some reasons I don't completely understand I'm drawn to books about people with really messed up lives. I'm not sure if it's because I can identify with those characters or if it's because it makes me feel better about my own life. Probably a little of both. For the most part I'm not interested in romance novels, civil war books, mob books, or books about magic. Those dislikes have nothing to do with any kind of moral compass or anything goofy like that. Just not interested.

Anyway, right now I'm reading a book called Serving Crazy with Curry by Amula Malladi. It's about a young Indian (as in from India, not Native American) woman about my age who decides, after a lot of tough breaks, to end her own life. She is almost successful in dying when her mother finds her and calls 911 and she doesn't die after all. So this woman, who feels like she's failed at everything else in her life, now has also failed at dying. So then thorough some circumstances and a newfound love of cooking (of all things) she decides she wants to live after all. It's really a pretty good book. The only problem I'm having with it is that all of the characters are Indian. So the names are totally foreign to me. The names seem neither male nor female and it's really hard to keep them straight.

Anyway, reading this book has made me start thinking about suicide. Don't read what I didn't say. I'm not thinking about committing suicide. Even in my deepest, darkest pit I never considered taking my own life. I'm just thinking about the topic and some of the implications of it, that's all. I thought about titling this post "Thinking about suicide." That's what I really wanted to call it. But I was pretty sure that my mom wouldn't get past the title of the post without hunting me down with the men in the white coats. So I changed my mind. I just kind of think the topic of suicide is a pretty interesting one. Now if you've lost someone because they made this decision, I mean no disrespect. And I don't mean to take the complexities of the human spirit out of the equation. I've never lost anyone this way and if I had my thoughts on it would be very different, I'm sure. So I should probably just leave this one alone and talk about something that I know. But hardly anyone is willing to broach this subject. Why is that? I think it's because it's just too big for us to wrap our brains around. There's no nice way to talk about it. So we don't. And if anyone brings up the topic, those around them wonder if they're considering it.

I know that many people who have committed suicide or attempted suicide are mentally ill and so the rationale that I'm looking at this through may be completely irrelevant. But is every suicide attempted by one who is sick or suffering from a real, clinical mental disorder? I doubt it. I think some people just make the very sane and controlled decision that they will not subject themselves to anymore of whatever it is they're being subjected to. And that's the mindset that I think is fascinating. I've always thought of suicide as a somewhat cowardly and selfish thing to do. And I guess it is or can be in some respects. But if you think about it, it's also pretty ballsy. Yes, I said ballsy. Get over it. To come to a point where you are willing to make the final decision to remove yourself from whatever pain or injustice you are suffering from. To really make that decision and not waiver. It's just hard to imagine what a person must be made of to be able to do that. I think it's easier to just say someone must have been crazy than to see them as "normal" and just like us.

I think that's the case with a lot of things. We look at the things people do or have done and we think, "Man, I would never do that." Or "I'm not capable of that." But I kind of think that we're all capable of anything given the right circumstances. And when we look at something someone else has done and think we're better than that, I think we're setting ourselves up for a fall. I think whether we like it or not, we are all the same.

On their way to Kenya

Some folks we know are on their way to Kenya on a mission trip. This group includes many close friends of ours. Here is a blog to keep us updated in case you're interested. If you're the praying type (or even if your not) please pray for this team. They are all so excited to see how God will work around and through them on this trip. There are lots of teenagers on this trip too so this is just so cool that they get to go to Kenya at their age. I hope to go on an overseas mission trip one of these days. I don't know if I'd accomplish much except playing with kids and taking pictures but I guess that's better than nothing.

A little Mikey update

We've been spending a lot more time working with Mikey on his communication. We have basically cut t.v. out of our lives for the last several days. I've been letting him watch maybe 30 minutes to an hour of t.v. a day. We've been making him at least try to communicate rather than responding to his yelling and pointing. He now knows the signs for mommy, daddy, drink, thank you, more, and all done. He doesn't do them every time we want him to but he's getting much better. And he has said the word "more" a few times but he prefers to sign it. He's also said "apple" (or something that sounded kind of like apple) a couple of times. He seems to be experimenting more with some different sounds and he's mimicking our inflections a lot more. And he is now nodding for "yes." So we're making some progress. BACH will be coming tomorrow to do initial paperwork. And then I guess the speech therapist will come out in the next few weeks or so and evaluate him. We know that he understand most of what we say and he can follow simple instructions. We know that he's very intelligent, he just seems to be having a hard time getting out any real words. So I guess we'll just see how things go in the next few months. I know I'm not as careful about what I say around him as I should be. I hope his first phrase is not "holy crap!" or "that sucks." That probably wouldn't be a very proud mommy moment.

A wedding tag along

I went to a wedding this evening. I wasn't invited. I went anyway. Well, I was invited by the wedding photographer but not by the family. Anyway, this guy, Dan, was kind enough to let me sit around and watch him work. I learned a lot and it was really interesting to go to a wedding and just concentrate on the photographers and not the people getting married.

I may get into doing wedding photography one of these day if I can build up the confidence and the courage. And if I can afford to buy another camera and a couple more lenses and maybe some lighting stuff. And if I can convince my husband into shooting with me. And if I can get someone to hire me to do their wedding. So as you can see, there's some real potential here. I think if I can go tag along a couple more times and maybe be a second shooter a few times, I could actually give the wedding thing a real try. I guess we'll see where I end up if I keep doing this. In all seriousness though, seeing these people work helped me to see that it is totally possible for me to be able to shoot a wedding. It's really not as complicated as I originally thought.

Check out my toad

Here's a picture of a toad. I figured, why not?

Will Mikey ever speak?

We took both boys for their checkups yesterday. Jack went for his six year check up and Mikey for his 18 month. The Nurse Practitioner who saw Mikey is concerned that he is still not speaking. Our regular Pediatrician is very laid back and I'm kind of curious what he would have had to say if we had seen him. Anyway, the NP thinks we need to have Mikey evaluated by a speech therapist. She suggested we contact BACH and have him evaluated. I heard from an acquaintance in the office that the BACH speech therapist is overloaded with kids in this area. She suggested that I contact another place who does speech therapy with kids. I'm going to call that place in a little while and see if I can get him in for an appointment to be evaluated.

I am a little concerned about Mikey's speech development and I kind of have been for a while. He says "Bob" from Veggie Tales and that's really his only regular word. He does the signs for "more" and "drink" and sometimes "thank you." He has said the words, "bye, bye" and "more" and "ma-ma" and a few others but he doesn't say any of them with any consistency. He does a lot of pointing and grunting. And we see several tantrums throughout the day because we can't give him what he wants because we don't know what he wants.

Another possible concern is that he doesn't regularly point to body parts when you ask him. He knows where his nose, eyes, tongue, hair, toes, belly....are but if he doesn't feel like humoring you, he won't.

I'm not terribly concerned at this point. I do want to have him evaluated and start getting him some help so he doesn't get further behind. But for the most part, Phillip and I think he is very smart and incredibly stubborn. I don't think this kid is a people pleaser in any way. And since we want him to do some of these things, I think he's just trying to do the opposite of what we want. I told someone the other day that I'm pretty sure if Mikey could speak he would not have very nice things to say anyway.

So that's kind of where we are right now with him. I just hope everything is okay with him. We don't know anything about his family history so there's just a lot of unknowns with him.

Stringer

I took a few photos tonight for The Facts of the dress rehearsal for Barnum. It was really fun. Maybe I'll get to do some more stuff here and there for The Facts. Can't post any pictures though because The Facts owns them. I guess you'll have to see them there. They're going to be in The Facts Entertainment Connection Magazine (whatever that is).

Puppet Show

Jack made puppets out of paper sacks at my mom's house this evening. I was over there for a little while and I made a puppet too. He wanted to have a puppet show when he got home. Mine is the red head with cleavage whose getting destroyed by Leonardo in the last few scenes. Anyway, Jackson made all four Ninja Turtles, a frog, and a kitty. I don't think the frog or the cat are featured in any of these pictures. If you're wondering what is on Leonardo's back, they're swords. Blue swords made of popsicle sticks. The last picture is of Jackson laughing at Phillip's puppet show. Phillip wouldn't let me take any pictures of his performance. He's got stage fright. I love Jackson's different little expressions in these pictures. He's very entertaining.

Kids, Self Control, and Crazy Dancing

Today was "7th Inning Stretch" at Church. What that means is that they let (make) kids ages four and up go to "big church" instead of their regular kid classes. That also means that in some cases the parents of those kids would have just been better off staying home. The message today was about self control, which is a great topic for children to hear. Anyway, I got there a couple of minutes after it started so Jackson was in there briefly without any kind of adult supervision because Phillip was playing on stage. Jackson was sitting on the very first row pretty much right in front of Phillip with a couple of other little boys his age. So I parked behind Jackson. A few pretty funny things happened during that 45 minute window.

First of all our newest pastor did some pretty amazing dancing up on stage. It's like the other staff members were like, "Hey, lets make the new guy get up there and shake it like there's no tomorrow." He almost ran out of breath. I was hoping he would have to sit down for a minute but he stuck it out. I was also hoping he would have to do the bend over and put your hands on your knees thing, but I don't think he did that either.

Secondly, our children's minister got up there and did some almost obscene booty shaking. I had no idea she could move like that. Truly amazing.

Thankfully these two staff members didn't dance together. That would have been like some kind of awkward overload.

Okay, I'm getting the events out of order because before the second bit of booty shaking was passed us, the longest like 15 seconds of my life took place. In the middle of the music stuff, Jackson just turned around and looked at me and held up his first finger as if to say, "Just a minute." And he got out of his seat and walked right up on stage and took his Nintendo DS from the floor in front of Phillip. As he was doing this Phillip and I both just stood paralyzed completely shocked and horrified. Then he came back to his seat and sat down. After I thumped him on the head, I bent down and whispered something in his ear like this, "Are you crazy!? You can't just go up on stage in the middle of church! Have you lost your ever-loving-mind???" Once we got home I asked Jack why he thought that was a good idea. And he said something like, "I was saying yes, no, yes, no, yes, no in my head and it landed on yes." It's like he was doing the he loves me, he loves me not thing. Or like Phillip said, it's like he spun a wheel in his head and it landed on "Go for it!!!"

Anyway, it's pretty funny that today was about self control and Jackson exhibited none. I guess if we're going to let kids be in "big church" we're going to have to expect the unexpected. I still think his little cameo was less shocking than the other shenanigans that took place today.

City of Enchantment Fireworks

We got together tonight with friends to watch the fireworks show. Here are a few from this evening. Aren't my boys wonderful artists?

views from our backyard

As I was taking the dog out the other day, I noticed all of our neighbor's overalls and shirts hanging out on the line. I wanted to get a picture of his clothes hanging like that. But I didn't want them to see me out there just taking pictures of his clothes. I didn't want to seem like some weirdo or something. So I went around our backyard taking pictures of other random stuff I could find. And I snapped a couple of his clothes. So if they happened to ask I could just say, "Oh, I'm just trying out a new lens." Which would have been a total lie. I don't have a new lens. I wish I did but that's beside the point. Anyway, here are some of my snapshots from our backyard. Kind of a lot of rope happening, not sure what that's about.