Sunday, July 30, 2006

The Homestudy is done

Well, we finished up with the homestudy around 7:30. She was here about 2 1/2 hours. Things went fine, I guess. We had to talk to her about our childhood and family dynamic growing up. My family dynamic was not ideal I guess you could say. We had to talk about each one of our siblings, where they lived, their kids, married or single, what kind of relationship we have with them, etc. And since I have two brothers and two sisters I had quite a bit to cover. Anyway, it took me quite a bit longer to get through the story of my life than Phillip took with his.

Jackson was pretty shy with her at first. He wouldn't even look at her. But finally he came out of his shell a little and started showing her all his dang light sabers.

We could get a placement any day. Every time the phone rings I get all antsy.

In case you're wondering about the soup, it turned out good but very spicy. She was just writing the entire time she was here so we didn't stop to eat anything.

"Biggest Puddle in the World"

We went to Shy Pond for a little while this afternoon. It was wet and muddy and Jack spent most of his time running in this puddle. When he first stepped in it he looked at me with a guilty look on his face. Once he saw that I didn't really care, he just ran through it over and over again. He was plenty gross by the time we left.









Saturday, July 29, 2006

Home Study Tomorrow

Our home study is tomorrow at 4:30. I think we're ready. The house is cleaner than it has been in a long time. All except for Jack's room of course. The little creep can't keep his room clean for 20 minutes. I'm exhausted. I'll just have to do a few little things tomorrow so I'll be able to relax most of the day. I've decided to just throw some stuff in the crock pot in the morning and maybe by dinner time we'll have something resembling food. I'm hoping it will turn out to be tortilla soup. We shall see. Anyway, I'll update on how the home study goes.

Distraction

I'm looking at Tenor Saxes on e-bay to distract myself from feeling so anxious about getting another kiddo. Anyway, I found a couple that I would like to get. One of them ends in just a couple of hours and I thinnk it's going to go for a pretty good price. But Phillip is not here and we have not talked about spending a few hundred on a saxophone right now, so I won't be bidding on it...as much as I would like to. Here's a pic. of the one that is ending in a couple of hours. It's a Buescher made in the 1920's. It will probably go for $500.00 or so. I had an instructor that had one of these horns. I love the way it looks. I'm sure it would need some work, but it would be worth it.



This is another one that would be cool to get. They are going for quite a bit more if they're in good condition. This is a Conn "Naked Lady" tenor sax made in the 1940's. They are going for $1,000.00-2,000.00. Here are a couple of pics. You can kind of see the "naked lady." It's really just her upper body and face.





Or I could just drop 3-4K on a pro. model Selmer or Yamaha. But I'd really rather have an old beater to get fixed up.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A call about a placement

Well, we just got a call about a placement.

A boy.

I guess she forgot that we requested a agirl. I kindly reminded her and she said, "Ok, well, nevermind." Now is this something that's going to haunt me forever? Did I just unknowingly turn away the child that was supposed to be ours? As soon as she said "he" my mind began racing thinking of how quickly I could get rid of everything pink in that room. Not possible.

Hopefully she'll call back soon.....with a girl!

Baby stuff

I know all of my faithful readers have just been wondering and wondering what I decided to do about the valance. Well, I took the other one back and my mother-in -law made a valance out of the same material that the bedskirt it made of. Here are the two pictures side by side. I think the new one looks much better. Thanks, Debbie. Oh yeah, and we also added a celing fan to the room. The light fixture that was there was hideous.





By the way, we're having our home study on Sunday afternoon at 4:30. It will probably last three hours or so. Should I have dinner ready and ask her to eat with us?? Will she think I'm sucking up? What if she doesn't like my cooking? What should I do?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Texas Burrito Factory

There's a new restaurant in Freeport called The Texas Burrito Factory. I heard about it from a couple of people, so I thought we should try it. It's a really cute little place in the arm pit of Freeport and their food is really good. I think it's family owned and I think that maybe the family that owns it lives above it. There were like four little kids running around upstairs. The owner said it was racoons. Anyway, they're a lot like Chipotle, except the rice is not as "clean." That's just kind of an inside joke that about two people will get. Actually their rice is just fine. But it's just a pretty good little dive to get a huge burrito. I actully got a big ole quesadilla, aka "Texas Fold 'Em." You can expect to pay about $6.00 or so for an enormous burrito full of all kinds of stuff. They are located at 218 West Broad in Freeport incase any of you are interested in trying it. Their hours are 10:30-6:00 Monday-Friday and 10:30-3:00 on Saturdays, closed on Sundays. You should check it out.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Best Morning Ever

Phillip and I took our CPR/First Aid Training class today. The class was supposed the be NINE hours!! I thought it was supposed to be four. But we finished in just under six. Six hours of lame jokes, scattered cuss words, repeated information, stupid questions, hacking coughs, and ridiculously horrible videos. The "instructor" looked and sounded like she has been smoking about two packs a day since she was nine. Now this next comment is really mean and not very humble so just be warned. In this last month of training to become foster parents, we have been around more ignorant, uneducated people than ever before in our lives. And we have had a really hard time keeping it together sometimes. Just for example, in one of our classes, someone asked if you have to have a G.E.D. to become a foster parent. The answer, surprisingly enough, is NO. No, but you do have to take a G.E.D. equivalency test. Who knew?! So, there you go. There's a glimpse into our last month or so. I realize this is all very mean-spirited.

But the good news is WE ARE DONE!!! We'll have our home study this week coming up and then we'll be on our way to having a little crying, pooping, spitting up bundle of joy. And I have no doubt that this last month will end up being well worth it.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Season of blessing

For a long time now, I have been asking God to pour out a season of blessings in our lives. I have asked this with the knowledge that we are His kids and He loves us and desires to give us good things. Now, I know that just to breathe is a blessing, and our family and home are blessings. Food is a blessing. And I'm not trying to knock those things. But when you've been in a sea of pain, disappointment, and loss for so long, it's really hard to see the blessings sometimes. I mean, on one hand you're always looking for something to be thankful for, but on the other hand, it's hard to be thankful for things that you feel should be a "natural human right." I am finally starting to see God's hand begin to put things in place in our lives. That does not mean that He hasn't been doing that all along. I just couldn't see it. All I could do was believe the promise that He knows the plans He has for me (Jer. 29:11). I am so looking forward to our future now. And that's kind of a big deal. Of course, I know that nothing is certain. I know that things like Cancer, floods, and drunk drivers happen every day. But I am also beginning to see that trials do not have to take a person's soul. I'm finally starting to feel the fog being lifted. Regardless of how long this season is in our lives, I am so grateful to know that it came. And that I noticed.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

A Little Update

We have one more class this Tuesday evening. And then we have CPR/First Aid training on Saturday. The director said she plans on doing our home study the last week in July and licensing could come within a couple of days after that if there are no problems. The agency we're using moves very fast. Since we are requesting a mixed race baby, we won't have to wait very long at all. Some people get a baby on the day they're licensed. So, long story short, we'll probably have a little one sometime in eary August, possibly the first week in August. We're pretty excited.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The Process: Foster to Adopt

Maury asked how this process works, so let me explain if I can.

I get to tell Maury something that he doesn't know!! Ok, this is a first, so let me just take a minute to bask in the glory of being able to impart my wealth of knowledge to one who is lacking in understanding.




Ok, so this is the way this thing works. Phillip and I are going through classes to become licensed foster parents. As licensed foster parents, we will be taking into our home "wards of the State." We could take any age, gender child we wanted to take. We could probably have as many as 4 other kids in the house if we wanted to...which we don't. We are specifically requesting an infant whose legal status is "termination" or "adoption." Some kids are put into foster care so their parents can get their acts together and be reunited with their kiddos. This means that the baby we get will either be on it's way to having the parental rights terminated or they will already be terminated. We have to have the baby in our home for 6 months before we can start the adoption proceedings. That time starts the minute the baby is placed with us even if rights are not already terminated. So, until the adoption is final, it is still possible that the baby could be reunited with birth family, not necessarily the parents, but extended family. But the relatives cannot have any history with C.P.S. whatsoever. And unfortunately, there aren't usually any people who qualify within the family. So, once we've had the baby for six months, we can move to consummate the adoption and the child will be legally ours.

Any questions? I gotta go to work!

Lots of Clothes

Man, this kiddo is set....atleast for the first 6 months of her life or so. We have bought a few things here and there in the last few weeks. Some friends of ours passed along a ton of little girl things that their baby has outgrown. That was such a blessing. They must have given us 20 hair bows! I guess their daughter doesn't like those things.

I really don't like to do laundry, but I have been having fun getting all these little clothes washed and put away....and taking them out and looking at them and putting them back.....and refolding them and putting them away some more. It's crazy, I know. Check out these little ruffled panties I bought today. Aren't they cute?!



F.Y.I., I asked about putting pictures on the internet...big fat NO, NO!
So, unfortunately, we will not be able to post any pictures of her on our blogs or flickr pages. But once she's adopted, we'll be posting them like crazy!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Not enough posts??

Ok, Aunt Gale, Phillip told me that you said we don't blog enough. I just want you to know that I have had 240 posts in about 16 months, which is an average of about 3.75 posts per week. I think that's pretty dang good. Now, if you want to say that Phillip doesn't post enough, that's fine, but leave me out of it.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Ladies, I need your advice.....Men, go find something else to do

I bought a valance today and I'm just not sure if I like it or not. At first I bought a different one and got it home and didn't like it at all so I took it back. Then I got home with this one and it was missing one of the rings. It's a balloon shade so it has all these plastic rings on the back or it so you can raise and lower it, but on the upper left it is missing the ring that the other ones connect to. Hard to explain, but anyway, it took me about 2 hours of messing with it to get it up there looking decent. But now I'm just not sure about the pattern. I know it's "in" now to have different patterns together. But I'm just not conviced. It's not in the picture but I have a laundry basket with a similar flower design. I wanted to have a valance to match the bed skirt, but I would have to order it on line and I'm just too impatient for all that jazz. Blah, blah, blah, I sound like my mother....

Anyway, honestly, what do you think? It's kind of hard to tell from the pictures.





Tuesday, July 04, 2006

I got a bunch of Jack's neutral baby clothes together and got them washed, folded, and put away last night. We finally got the July schedule for the agency we're using and it looks like we'll be done with our classes on July 18th. Old Codger Fire Inspector came yesterday to tell us we need three more smoke alarms in our tiny little house. That will bring us to five smoke alarms for 1300 sq. feet. Whatever, we'll do it. Whatever it takes.

The reality is slowly starting to sink in.

There are so many things I wonder about regarding the baby and this whole experience. How will we feel the first time we see her? Will she feel like our daughter? Should she feel like our daughter? She won't legally be ours until we've had her atleast six months. There's no guarantee she'll become ours at all. What will I refer to myself as with her? Mommy? Is that a smart thing to do? I just don't know the right answers to any of these questions.

Some friends and acquaintances are expecting babies right now. Some of them, their first. From the moment they hear that little heart beat or see that baby on ultrasound, they will be in love. With every bit of knowledge they have about that baby, they will fall deeper in love. I really think we love Jack more today than on the day he was born. We didn't really know him then. He was cute and totally dependent on us for everything. We would have laid down our lives for him in an instant if we had to. I think in the beginnng, the love we feel for our kids is more primal and instinctual.

It's like they (we) are woven together in the womb and as that's happening the love between parent and child is being woven together too. I think the weaving of that love never stops. Sometimes the weaving is repair work to mend parts where the threads have pulled away. Sometimes the parent or child may get stuck weaving in the same place until the fabric in that place becomes too thick or knotted and takes some effort to find our way out of it. Sometimes the bump in those places never goes away. Sometimes there is not enough attention given to certain areas and those areas become thin and worn and can't be trusted to keep things together. There are holes. Some are big enough for others to see and some you can just feel and you hope nobody, not even the child, knows about those. The fabric of love between parent and child is beautiful, flawed, always changing, always being worked upon in some way or another.

I think the way I will begin to love this child is just very delicately. Little by little. The weaving has already begun as we begin to prepare for her. As I touch the clothes that will be hers and think about what she may look like. As we think of a name.

I'm ready to see her face. I'm ready to start getting to know her.


John 10:14
I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me.

1 Corinthians 13:11-13
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.