Saxophone shaped void

I used to play the saxophone. I started out on Alto Sax in 6th grade and played Alto until my sophomore year of highschool when I switched to Tenor. I played Tenor Sax through three years of college in jazz band and concert band as well as a little combo at Brazosport College called The Coasters (super cheesy group by the way).

I was not spectacular, but I was good enough. I enjoyed it and for many years being a "saxophone player" was very much a part of who I was. I know that's stupid to identify with an object, but some of you can probably relate in one way or another. Anyway, I had a really nice horn. A pro model Yamaha that cost quite a bit of money, more money than probably should have been spent. But after Jack was born, we had to sell it. I didn't want to but we were struggling financially as so many young couples do and it seemed silly to keep it. Phillip had to do the act of selling it because I would not have been able to do it without becoming a blubbering mess in public. To part with that piece of metal was truly heartbreaking.

I hope to get another one someday. I'll never be able to afford the kind of horn I had, but I'm thinking I'd like to get an old vintage one that needs some work. I need one with character. I need one with some dings and scrapes. I need one that has been used for longer than it was intended and have it restored back to a functional existance. I don't think I could identify with a beautiful brand new instrument anymore. It would feel good to play again someday.