Our son Mikey is 16 months old and sometimes we put a leash on him. Call it a leash or call is a harness, but when we go to the Mall with him, it is our only salvation. He's not crazy about it and he sometimes screams and throws himself on the floor when he has to wear it but it's better than staying at home. We've gotten a few looks and some snide remarks. Phillip encountered a thread on some gear page (what do child leashes have to do with guitar gear?) about putting a leash on your kid. Many of the people (probably not parents) think it's just horrible and inhumane and lazy parenting or whatever. And people are entitled to their own (wrong) opinions and certainly have the right to express them. But I get a little bit worked up when people judge me as a parent. Especially when they are not parents and are rather clueless about how to parent, particularly how to parent my child.
We don't walk Mikey around the block with it while he relieves himself in people's yards. It's not a muzzle. It's just a plush monkey back pack and the monkey's 4 foot long tail is the leash.
So just because I feel some need to explain myself, here are a few reasons why we use a leash/harness with Mikey.
1. He will sit in his stroller for about 10 minutes without throwing a violent screaming fit. And if for a moment I stop pushing the stroller, he starts the fit before the 10 minutes is up. And the fit doesn't stop if I just leave him in there. Tried that. It just escalates to the point where everyone and their mother is staring. If I end up taking him out of the stroller and carrying him, then I have a 25 lb. baby on my arm and a big stroller to push at the same time.
2. He refuses to hold our hand even for a moment. To force him to hold my hand, I would have to hold his hand so tight it would probably leave bruises and/or pull his shoulder out of socket.
3. He likes freedom. The leash allows us to give him more freedom than the stroller or hand holding allows. He has more freedom but not the freedom to run wild. The same people who think the leash is horrible also think unruly kids running around climbing in the clothes racks are horrible. You can't win.
4. He needs to learn to stay with us in public and the leash is a good training device for that. Mikey is extremely strong willed and we are trying to teach him now that his will must be in line with ours. And in spite of his need for freedom, our will is that he stay close enough to his family to be safe from objects he can pull over on his head and the ever present "stranger" who might want to kidnap him.
5. And last but not least, a toddler with a monkey strapped to his back is just cute.
There was a time that I thought a harness for a child was probably not necessary. There was a time when upon seeing a screaming toddler or preschooler in the store I would have thought, "What is wrong with that mother???" There was a time when I thought my child's "good behavior" was a direct result of my "good parenting." Now I have my beautiful, temperamental, little strong willed child and I realize how wrong I was. Hopefully by the time he starts kindergarten he will have graduated out of the monkey leash.
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10 comments:
I long for a world where all parents leash their children while in public.
*sigh*
You may as well throw one on Phillip for good measure. =)
Hey Jenny, from one leash believing parent to another...I feel your pain. Just wait until you have your child on a leash in public and they try to run and then they fall down. That always gets a really good reaction. Alas, they will grow out of it. Kennedy isn't on hers as much now, but we do keep it and occasionally pull it out to remind her of her limitations. I think it serves as a good reminder for us sometimes of what can happen if we allow ourselves to wander from God's protection.
We're only three months into this, and I know I will have a list a mile long soon of things I said I would never do and then end up doing.
I'm cracking up at his monkey leash and want to see it sometime.
Did you wish for a pet and got a son instead?
I have three children under four and I can handle then fine, the idea of leashing a child like a dog is ludacris!
I used to laugh that some parents leashed their children. I said "I'm fourth of five children, and my mother handled all of us without leashes."
Then, I became a parent. My husband is the son of a police detective whose caseload is primarily child abuse and kidnapped children cases. My husband was leashed as a child. At first I fought my husband on this issue, but I now consider it a courtesy to my family. More importantly, I know that my one year old will not of his own volition walk calmy beside my husband and I as we would hope for, and while Most times I could keep track of him, I dare not risk the one time I couldn't. To make a long story short, I found your blog by searching for a monkey backpack harness for my own child.
I loved this post - thank you for making me laugh at an otherwise frustrating subject. I totally relate and I'm about to buy a monkey for my 19 month old boy too! Running from me has become a game to him, and it's scary! Better safe than sorry. Mom of 3 offended the hell out of me, but hey, like you said, we're all entitled to our opinions, even when they're wrong.
I read this, and the comments, and had to literally "laugh at loud". I too found this blog by looking online for the cute monkey backpack HARNESS that I saw other parents using at Disneyland. When I had my first child, I SWORE I would never be caught dead with her on a leash. I now have three girls at home, and after buying my Disneyland pass and taking them there routinely...I see now I spoke too soon. My 21 month old HATES sitting for long periods in her stroller, but when it is me against the world in a public place-with two under two-I realize that this backpack thing may not be as bad after all. There are always people who are going to judge, my own sister in law-just had her first baby-was shocked when I mentioned I wanted to get this for my girls. But then again, she makes decisions with her parenting that I would never do. So to each their own, if it makes a busy overtired mommy's life a little less stressful so be it. And to all those who feel the need to give their dirty "what a lazy mother" looks or make their snide comments, just know that to me it will always fall on deaf ears! :)
as a kid I wasn't on a harness and DO have memories of being dragged by the hand / arm. My mum used one for my brother and he's happy and fine! People should re-think as a child, they don't consider "bars" on a play pen or safety gate as a prison. they like "hands free" walking - they don't even notice it's safe on a harness.
Actually I've just recieved a rescued monkey and she will also love the freedom of a harness cf, being restrained by ARM.
xxx
Lana
I was floating around to see what other people thought about kiddie leashes after a had a bunch of mommy bloggers attack me. I respect their decision to use them. I just said it looked silly :D I'm glad I made it out the forum alive!
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