We spent part of this evening with my oldest sister and her two grown sons. The live in Alabama and I haven't seen my sister in over five years and I haven't seen one of my nephews in about 10 years. My sister and I haven't even spoken on the phone since right before Jackson was born 3 1/2 years ago. We haven't really been angry with each other or anything. We just don't really know one another and there's no real relationship. I was really pretty annoyed when I found out she was coming for a visit. I just thought it was weird after all these years that I was going to be seeing her again. I don't like being fake nice. And I knew I wouldn't have anything significant to say to her.
But anyway, the visit was fine. It wasn't that weird at all. I didn't even have to be fake nice. It was good to see them. It's just so strange to see my nephews as grown men. It's really a shame that we weren't all more a part of each other's lives. I think it's kind of too late now to try and build any meaningful relationships with them. But I guess many of the relationships I have with extended family are kind of superficial.
I'm not talking about the ones of you that bother reading my blog. You see the real me, I'm afraid.
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2 comments:
I was the same way with my brother. He's 7 years older than me, and when left for college, that was about it. He quickly turned into a complete jerk/idiot and when he got married, he married a complete jerk/idiot.
He hardly had anything to do with us simply because he'd "been away" for so long there was no common ground.
Thankfully (as bad as this sounds), he ended things with the scumbag after 15 years and three kids — but he recently remarried a wonderful woman and we've never seen him so happy.
It's quite a change, having my brother back after all these years. I hope things go as well as the both of you would like, Jenny, even if that's only seeing each other every 10 years.
I have that type of relationship with my sister as well. I see her at major holidays and not even that much then.
The only time she's been really interested in talking to me like a person is when we thought I was expecting (one of many letdowns...). She actually called me for the first time in hm...I think ever. And she hasn't called since. I only get to know what I'm assigned the kids for presents if I ask.
It's tough cause I do love her. Her husband is kinda growing on me (after 13 years...) too. I try to keep it cordial for the kids sakes.
Really though, my whole family is like that. My dad doesn't call or visit. My mom works like everyday at a job she hates (that makes for real fun phone calls...). We just don't talk.
It was wierd to marry into a family who calls each other daily. I don't know how to respond to it, even after 6.5 years.
All that to say, I understand what you're going through and hope everything works out to make you happy.
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