All good things...

As you all know, Mikey's adoption is fast approaching.  We are so excited and relieved that we will no longer have to worry about him being taken away from us.  And at the same time, Phillip and I have joked about what we will potentially encounter through the years with "this child."  As I've mentioned before he is vastly different in personality from Jackson.  And I don't say that as a bad thing, it's just a fact about who he is.  They are both unique individuals.  

I have no doubt that God chose Mikey to be our son.  It is not just some random occurrence that brought us to him or him to us.  God knew as he created and grew him in his mother's womb that he would be our son.  God protected him and rescued him from the danger he would encounter there and brought him to our door.  God created Mikey for us and us for him.  I am seeing that clearer and clearer everyday that I spend with him.  He is our son. And to say that we adore him and marvel at his presence in our family just does not adequately describe the depths of how we feel.  

He is the realization of God's promise to us in Jeremiah 29:11.  I clung to these words during the devastation we went through with the loss of our other babies.  

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.  Plans to prosper you, not to harm you.  Plans to give you hope and a future.

And we are a part of that realization for Mikey as well.  We are part of God's plan to prosper and not to harm him.  We are part of God's plan to give Mikey hope and a future.  God is so good.  And we are so grateful.  

I joke sometimes saying that God has given me a child less patient that I am to teach me patience.  And while it is kind of funny to think about in that way, it is so true.  I have learned so much about the heart and patience and grace of God through having Mikey in our home.  I have heard people say before that having kids helps you to see how God loves us, His children.  I have seen that with Jackson over the years, but not as much as I see that with Mikey.  It has been difficult to sometimes see myself in Jackson.  He is so many things that I am not.  He is patient and understanding and obedient and predictable.  Mikey, on the other hand, is bull headed, contrary, impulsive, sometimes out of control.  And even so, our hearts just overflow with love for him.  Sometimes we have to work a little harder to receive affection from him, but when we do, the reward is so great.  

The more time I spend with Mikey, the more I understand how God must feel about me.  I must wear on His nerves when I continually do the opposite of what He wants me to do.  And yet, He still finds me beautiful, precious, and endearing.  He must sometimes want to throw up His hands and think, "I just don't know what to do with this child."  But instead He holds onto me and loves me through whatever I'm going through.   And He is always ready to accept love from me even if it's preceded only moments before by anger.  He finds delight in me.  And there are times when He clenches His fists at me.

We look forward to seeing our boys grow up.  We know we will have struggles with them both. We know they will both bring us to our knees at times.  But we also know that they will bring us so much joy and laughter and just completeness.  

God is the giver of all good things and we are grateful.