On a Scared of God Kick

Let me begin this post by saying that I've never been much for Bible reading. I just don't want this to come across like "in my many years of pouring over the Bible....yadda, yadda, yadda" Not so. Not that I'm embarrassed to be reading the Bible either. It just seems like kind of a "super spiritual" thing to do and I'm pretty much quasi spiritual on a good day. Whatever that means.

So anyway, I've been doing a lot of Bible reading in the last six months or so. Mostly Old Testament stuff, some New Testament but not as much. I've haven't really been reading all the books in order so I'm getting myself all confused about timeline stuff. I finally got through with Leviticus a week or so ago and have moved on to Numbers. And let me just say that is some weird business. And this is not a post meant to make fun of the Bible or God. As the post title says, I'm too scared of God to do that. But this stuff is just so "out there" I just have to write about some of it. And most of it doesn't make sense to me at all. Also, I have no seminary training and I almost failed my Old Testament class at HBU. Well, I guess I did fail if a "D" is failing. It was the teacher's fault, not mine. So just keep that in mind, that's all. And I'm not referencing every verse because I just don't feel like it.

So anyway, on to Leviticus. The extremely specific details given regarding sacrifices is unreal. Like how in the world were they supposed to remember all this stuff? It kind of reminds me of this game that Phillip and I got stuck playing one time with some (then) friends of ours. It was called Point of Order. There were all these crazy rules that were just kind of made up arbitrarily as we went along. I don't know if I've seen Phillip that ready to throw something before or since. I'm talking he was MAD. Anyway, here's just an example of what I'm talking about. This is not for the faint of heart.

From the fellowship offering he is to bring a sacrifice made to the Lord by fire: it's fat, the entire fat tail cut off close to the backbone, all the fat that covers the inner parts or is connected to them, both kidneys with the fat on them near the loins, and the covering of the liver, which he will remove with the kidneys." Lev. 3:9-10

Like it talks about specific kinds of sacrifices for specific sins.

- If a person sins because he does not speak up when he hears a public charge to testify regarding something he has seen or learned about, he will be held responsible. Lev 5:1

- Touching human uncleanliness (Gross!!) Lev. 5:3

- Sinning unintentionally Lev. 4:27

I mean these are just a few. There are too many to name them all. And if you sin unintentionally, how are you supposed to know you need to sacrifice something for it? As I was reading this stuff I was totally overwhelmed with the level of detail. I was thinking that all these people must have been able to do all day long is sacrifice animals. If I had to burn something for every sin I commit in a 24 hour period of time, I would be locked up for being a pyromaniac. It's like their very purpose for existing on this planet was to do what God wanted of them and make atonement for the wrongs they've committed. That's it. That was their life.

They wandered around in the desert having to eat pieces of strange bread stuff and quail because all of their livestock was for sacrificing. I guess. I mean at some point they start complaining because they have no meat to eat so God sends quail. And then almost kills them because they were whining but then kind of has a change of heart (Numbers 11:31-34). But they have all these animals they're offering as sacrifices all day but I guess they couldn't eat the ones that weren't sacrificed? So man, how terrible would that be? To have all this perfectly good meat but not being able to eat any of it? I don't know. I'm confused about that. I know the priests could eat some of it under certain circumstances.

And that's another thing. The priests. The didn't ask to be priests. They were appointed (forced, strongly encouraged, called) to be priests. And why was Aaron still allowed to be a priest even though he kind of headed up that whole golden calf campaign (Ex.32) during Moses' first trip up there to get the tablets? I don't get that at all. He should have been out of the running after that. And they had a crazy amount of rules they had to follow or "they would die." Man, it's like they didn't even ask to be given that responsibility. Here's an example about that.

Make linen undergarments as a covering for the body, reaching from the waist to the thigh. Aaron and his sons must wear them whenever they enter the Tent of Meeting or approach the altar to minister in the Holy Place, so that they will not incur guilt and die. Lev. 28:42

And do not go up to my altar on steps, lest your nakedness be exposed on it. Lev.20:26

So in order for the priest to be able to walk up those steps we're talking about they had to have their boy parts covered up. The steps and God would have to witness all their business. I just thought that was pretty interesting. It's like when you see a guy in a Speedo, your like, "Oh, gross, I don't want to see that!" I guess it's like that.

Later after the priests are ordained, two of Aaron's sons were destroyed by God because they were lighting some incense wrong. You can read about that stuff in Lev.10. And Aaron wasn't allowed to mourn for them. At least not publicly anyway. And that is just harsh.

There's lots of stuff about what to do with questionable skin conditions in chapters 13 and 14 if you're interested in that. You know you are.

And some nameless dude was stoned later in Numbers for working on the Sabbath. God told them to kill him. He was stoned to death because he was gathering wood on the Sabbath. Numbers 15:32-26

And all of this stuff is really hard for me to take in. And there have been many times in my life where I have questioned God's intentions. But when you read some of this stuff, God is not just confusing. He is absolutely terrifying. This God, this same God who demanded they kill a man for gathering wood is the same God that I have gotten furious at for not giving me what I want. This God who demanded near perfection from the Israelites tolerates my foolishness day after day after day. This is not some "daddy God" we're dealing with. We aren't comfortable with "this God." We don't really want to believe that He exists. Or we want to think that He has changed since then. Like the God of the Old Testament is not the same God we deal with today.

Not the same God who deals with us.

But this part of God is not all there is.

Enter Jesus

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matt.11:29-30

The first part of Matthew, chapter 12 is about working on the Sabbath.

It almost seems like Jesus came to undo some of what God established. It's almost like Jesus is saying, "Naw, it's cool. He didn't mean it like that." But he didn't come here to undermine God's authority. He came to free humankind from all that stuff that we had to do just to exist with God. He came so that those hundreds of animals didn't have to be slaughtered all the time so God could look at us without wanting to destroy us.

And I never really got the whole animal sacrifice thing before. It really seemed kind of wasteful and arbitrary. And gross. But when you're out in the desert and all you have to eat is some weirdo bread type stuff and water, it's a big deal to burn up your animals. It's a big deal to know that if I look lustfully at so-in-so that's one less goat to my name. And it was still a big deal even when they got out of the desert because that lust-atoning goat was going to be dinner. But not anymore.

So Jesus not only came so we could someday go to Heaven. He came so that we could live a life that involved other things besides constantly making amends for our wrongs. He came as the priest that Aaron and his sons could never be. He came so that we could replace all that animal sacrifice business with friendship and laughter and joy.

But what have we replaced it with really? Worry, envy, greed, contempt. The list goes on and on. He came so we could use this brief life for good.

And not to end this on a negative note, but that same God who burned up those two boys for the whole incense thing, that's the same God who reigns now. And He is a God of love and mercy and compassion. I don't want to suggest that He's not. But He is also a serious, terrifying God.

And reading this stuff just makes me kind of scared of Him, that's all.