Playing outside

The boys and I went over to St. Whatever Church where they have the Pumpkin Patch every year. We live pretty close to that place so we go there often to play.  It's big enough for the boys just to run around for an hour or so and then we go home.  Usually I don't take the camera because it's too difficult to try to chase Mikey and take pictures.  But I brought it today and here are a few.  

In the last two, Mikey was trying to eat those little white flower things.  He was popping them in his mouth like they were M&Ms.  I just kept taking pictures while Jackson tried his best to get the flowers out of Mikey's mouth.  Jackson was not at all impressed with my parenting skills.

Good and busy

I'm taking a short break from photo editing to do a little blogging.  I've been pretty busy lately with shoots, editing, the house, the kids, planning the party on Sunday, etc....  It's good busy, but I'm beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed with it all.  

I've decided to take a couple of days in the next month or two just for me.  Some friends recommended this place called Cenacle Retreat in Houston.  It's just like this quiet little alcove in the middle of Houston where you can go to just be quiet, meditate, self-reflect, get alone with God, or whatever you might need to do there.  I have to have some down time every now and then or I get so tightly wound that anything can set me off.  And it's been quite a while since I've felt at peace for more than like ten minutes.  Just the thought of being able to go there for a couple of days and be still and think and read and write and just exist in peace seems like a dream.  I love my life.  I am blessed beyond all reason but there is very little peace to be had. So I'm looking forward to it already and I just have to make sure that I don't come up with a million excuses not to do it.  I am a better wife and mother if I can get away every now and then.  

I'm feeling fortunate lately to have the honor of photographing all of the people I've been photographing.  I've dreamed and prayed for years to have something in my life to do (other than being a mom and wife) that would bring me a feeling of fulfillment and significance.  And I am having a total blast doing this photography thing.  I absolutely love doing this.  I love connecting with these people.  I know I still have lots to learn but I am just so glad that I am learning it now at 30 rather than at 50 or 60 or whatever.  Some people live their whole lives and never find the thing that charges them up or gives them satisfaction.  I just feel extremely honored to be doing this.  My prayer is just to remain humble in it.  I have to remember that any talent or ability that I have is a gift from God.  I'm pretty sure that if I forget that, this privilege will quickly turn into a chore.  And that would be a very sad thing.

And now I need to get back to work.  Here are a couple of snapshots of Phillip reading with the boys.  

With Granddad at the Beach

Donald and Debbie camped out at Quintana Beach Park with Jackson a week or so ago. Phillip, Mikey, and I went out there one evening and joined them for dinner.  Here are a few of the boys with Granddad.  Mikey did not want to get out of that water.

Dryer update

I know all of you are just on pins and needles wondering if our dryer is still sort of working or not.  I know you have stayed awake at night thinking about when we would end up replacing it. Well, I want to set all of your minds at ease and let you know that we are now the proud owners of another cheap used dryer.  My friend Andrea, called earlier and told me about one for $75 sitting out in someone's driveway.  So I went and looked at and it looked like a dryer to me so I bought it.  The man was nice enough to take a check from a stranger and keep it in his garage until tomorrow when we can go pick it up.  He even offered to deliver it to our house.  But I'm sure my father-in-law is dying to go pick it up and bring it to our house and I don't want to deprive him of that joy.  Anyway, hopefully this one will last a few years.  Maybe some day we'll buy a brand new one but I'm absolutely fine with cheaping out on used.  Thanks, Andrea.

The Adoption Party

We're going to be having an adoption party for Mikey Sunday, April 27th from 2:00-4:00 at First Baptist in Lake Jackson.  It will be come and go and there will be food and plenty of cool people, such as myself, to hang out with.  I'll be sending out invitations but I'm a little late on that so I just thought I would put it here for some of you to see.  

We know that some people might want to bring gifts for Mikey.  We are asking that instead of bringing gifts for Mikey, please bring gifts in honor of Mikey to donate to the Pregnancy Help Center.  We have more than we need for him and I think this would be a good opportunity to help out some other babies and moms in our area.  I just called the Center and here is a list of things they are low on.

- diaper ointment

- baby powder

- baby shampoo

- baby towels and washcloths

- pacifiers

- baby bottles

They are good as far as maternity stuff right now.  They also always take gift cards that can be used to purchase baby items.  

So mark your calendars and plan on stopping by.  And if you read this and want to come but don't get an invitation in the mail, please consider this your invitation.  I will inevitably forget somebody.  If you know us, love our kids, and want to help the Center, come on.  We would love to have you.

The dryer

Our dryer is crapping out on us.  Again.  We bought that dryer used on ebay maybe a couple of years ago for about $65.00.  It's never worked quite "right" but it gets the clothes dry so that's all that counts.  It stopped working a few months ago and Phillip had to replace some thing in it to get it working again.  Recently is started acting up again.  It just runs sometimes and not other times without any real rhyme of reason.  We'll put clothes in there and push the button and nothing happens.  Then an hour or two or three later it just comes on all by itself.  Basically if it's closed it can just come on or go off at any time.  So we just have to make sure to open it at night or if we're going to be gone for a while.  With every load that gets dried, I think "YES!!  One more!  Victory!"  We could buy another dryer but as long as this one is sort of working we'll probably hang onto it.  

The new kid

Jackson has a new kid in his class named Damian.  That should give you an indication right there where this story is going.  Damian is apparently a little punk of a child.  He has been getting in trouble a lot and has had at least one note sent home.  This is according to Jackson so keep that in mind.  Jackson said that Damian poked his girlfriend, Emma, in the head with his pencil.  I asked Jack if Damian had done anything mean to him yet.  And Jack said, "No, not yet.  But I feel something coming."  

Easter Collage

Here is a collage of the boys from Easter Sunday.  Enjoy!!

Boy's clothes

Mikey and I went to the mall this morning to get Jackson some new clothes.  He has outgrown everything.  I'm proud to say that I bought Jackson 7 shirts and 3 pairs of shorts for just under $50.  I caught a sale at Children's Place and had a coupon for an addition 15% off.  About two or three times a year we buy Jackson some clothes.  I try to get everything as cheap as possible.  And I try to get stuff that can be mixed and matched.  Buying clothes is easy for boys.  You just have to get about 10 or so shirts, a couple of pairs of jeans, a pair of khakis, and a few pairs of shorts that can go with just about anything.  And you're pretty much set for a school year.  I intentionally get the stuff oversized so he can wear it for a while.  Lately he's been sporting 4T sized shorts and looks like a geek.  

Sometimes I think I want the hassle of dressing a girl.  But for now, I'm happy with having a couple of little boys.  And just because I can, here's a picture of Mikey.  It's not real recent.  I took this on Thanksgiving Day.  I just like it.  I'm planning on posting some pictures of him from birth to present one of these days when I get some time.  

More pictures

Okay, lets just make it perfectly clear that I will be posting lots of pictures in the next few days.  So just expect it.  Here are a few more from Maury.

I'm not sure but I *think* this picture is when Jackson shrugged after the judge asked us if our testimony given will be the truth.  Is that right, Maury?

Peek-a-boo!

Mikey wanted to run and do his own thing and Daddy wouldn't let him.  So he threw a fit.  He's pretty good at that.

Adoption day pictures

I thought I would take a couple of minutes and post a few adoption day pictures. The first two were taken by Maury.  I love the one of him and Granddad.  

I took the others today before we left and after we got home. Thanks to Maury, I only took a total of 17 pictures while my boys were dressed so cute.

Micah Benjamin Hintze

As of about 9:15 this morning, Mikey is officially Micah Benjamin Hintze.  There will be lots more pictures to follow but for now, here are some Mikey faces.  Up to this point I've not been able to post his face online so I thought I would make up for it now.  

A friend in Rwanda

A friend of ours, Danny Crocker, from Tomball is on a mission trip to Rwanda.

Here is his blog if you want to check it out.  

Please pray for him and his wife and three kids while he's away.

Adoption day prep

We just tried on Jackson's and Mikey's clothes for adoption day.  They are going to be so ridiculously cute!  The boys never have to dress nice so we had nothing already for them to wear.  It seemed a little silly buying this stuff they'll probably never wear again but it's an important day.  And they will look very cute for pictures!   

Mikey will be sporting slacks, button down blue shirt, and a sweater vest. I got him a tie too but it doesn't match the vest.  I might take it back and get another one.  

And Jackson will be in slacks, shirt and tie.  And we had to get Jackson some decent shoes.  We didn't think Converse All Stars would look quite right with the rest of the outfit.  We got him these cute little boat shoes.  Jackson's slacks look kind of funny because he's just so tall and skinny.  And the slacks we got him have a really long rise so he looks a little geeky.  But he's just a little boy so I think it's okay.

I'll try to get some pictures of them that morning before we leave the house if Mikey will cooperate.  By the way, I'm not really expecting Mikey to behave himself during the adoption proceedings.  He hates to be confined in any way.  And when we have to hold him or keep him from running around, he throws a fit like you've never seen.  Maybe he'll surprise me. Hopefully the judge will be quick about it.  

So check back Monday afternoon and I'm sure I'll have some pictures up.  Our friend Maury is going to take some pictures for us at the court house.  Maybe he'll post some somewhere....not sure.  Anyway, there will definitely be some pictures to see.  

And I've developed a nice cough the last couple of days for some reason.  It just came on out of the blue.  So I'll probably be coughing my head off during the whole thing.  

Random Thursday

Everybody else does "Random days of the week" posts so I thought I could too.  Here goes.

A bird family is trying to steal our mailbox.  I'm not quite sure what to do about it.  Jackson wants to "keep" the birds in our mailbox.  I'm somewhat inclined to agree with him but then there's the matter of where to put the actual mail.  Phillip, who is heartless, thinks we (I) should just remove all the twigs everyday until they get the message.  He said something like, "They might not even be trying to live there.  For all we know, they're just looking for a place to store their crap."  I really like the thought of that being the case.  I asked him how long they would stay if we let them live there.  He said, "Generations."  He's funny.

Jackson has become obsessed with playing paper, rock, scissors in the last couple of days.  He wants to play it all the time and as you can imagine, I have better things to do.  I told him this morning to go play it by himself.  It was really funny watching him try to beat his own self in that game.  He hates to loose so I thought it would work out nicely for him.  

We are out of grown up cereal so the last few mornings I've been eating Trix.  I now know why "Trix are for kids."  It's because they're gross.

My truck is so full of junk that the other morning as Jackson was climbing out of it, he knocked a plate out and onto the concrete.  It didn't break and it's still there now waiting to be knocked out again.  There's also a butt load of plastic easter eggs all over the floor board of the back seat.  I'll probably go out there and clean it once I'm done with this.  Historically speaking, my vehicles have always been full of junk.  I'm slightly embarrassed by that.

There have been some interesting dreams in our family lately.  From Mikey turning into a girl, to Phillip and Donald fighting giant spiders, to Donald being an undercover secret spy.  I can't wait to go to sleep tonight to see what happens next.  

And that is it for now.  I have to clean stuff and edit pictures.  

All good things...

As you all know, Mikey's adoption is fast approaching.  We are so excited and relieved that we will no longer have to worry about him being taken away from us.  And at the same time, Phillip and I have joked about what we will potentially encounter through the years with "this child."  As I've mentioned before he is vastly different in personality from Jackson.  And I don't say that as a bad thing, it's just a fact about who he is.  They are both unique individuals.  

I have no doubt that God chose Mikey to be our son.  It is not just some random occurrence that brought us to him or him to us.  God knew as he created and grew him in his mother's womb that he would be our son.  God protected him and rescued him from the danger he would encounter there and brought him to our door.  God created Mikey for us and us for him.  I am seeing that clearer and clearer everyday that I spend with him.  He is our son. And to say that we adore him and marvel at his presence in our family just does not adequately describe the depths of how we feel.  

He is the realization of God's promise to us in Jeremiah 29:11.  I clung to these words during the devastation we went through with the loss of our other babies.  

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.  Plans to prosper you, not to harm you.  Plans to give you hope and a future.

And we are a part of that realization for Mikey as well.  We are part of God's plan to prosper and not to harm him.  We are part of God's plan to give Mikey hope and a future.  God is so good.  And we are so grateful.  

I joke sometimes saying that God has given me a child less patient that I am to teach me patience.  And while it is kind of funny to think about in that way, it is so true.  I have learned so much about the heart and patience and grace of God through having Mikey in our home.  I have heard people say before that having kids helps you to see how God loves us, His children.  I have seen that with Jackson over the years, but not as much as I see that with Mikey.  It has been difficult to sometimes see myself in Jackson.  He is so many things that I am not.  He is patient and understanding and obedient and predictable.  Mikey, on the other hand, is bull headed, contrary, impulsive, sometimes out of control.  And even so, our hearts just overflow with love for him.  Sometimes we have to work a little harder to receive affection from him, but when we do, the reward is so great.  

The more time I spend with Mikey, the more I understand how God must feel about me.  I must wear on His nerves when I continually do the opposite of what He wants me to do.  And yet, He still finds me beautiful, precious, and endearing.  He must sometimes want to throw up His hands and think, "I just don't know what to do with this child."  But instead He holds onto me and loves me through whatever I'm going through.   And He is always ready to accept love from me even if it's preceded only moments before by anger.  He finds delight in me.  And there are times when He clenches His fists at me.

We look forward to seeing our boys grow up.  We know we will have struggles with them both. We know they will both bring us to our knees at times.  But we also know that they will bring us so much joy and laughter and just completeness.  

God is the giver of all good things and we are grateful.

Livin' on the edge

Here's our little wild man climbing on his toy box.  As I was taking the first one, I  just knew that he was going to fall off on his nose.  But he didn't.  

"Adoptive Placement"

As of today, Mikey is no longer our "foster child."  For the next six days he is our "adoptive placement."  Then on the 7th, he will just finally be our kid.  Phillip and I went today to the Angleton CPS office to fill out paperwork to prepare for the adoption.  We were given Mikey's file, which is a pretty decent stack of papers.  His file is tiny compared to many of the kids in the system.  We were also given his original birth certificate (no longer just a copy) and his original social security card (which will have to be redone in a week).  So, I think it's almost done.  Now the judge just has to bang her gavel and that will be that.  We are all so ready for that day.

Count down to going public again....I think

I'm *pretty sure* I'll be making this blog public again after the adoption.  I don't really know why that has to be the magic time.  I've written a few things on here that might not be terribly pleasing to a few of the workers we've encountered during this process.  And after the adoption is final, I won't really care.  I initially went private because of prying estranged family, but they have moved to another state and I'm not very concerned about them anymore.  

But I'm not sure if this blog could interfere with my photoblog or photography business.  The stuff I write on here isn't always "professional" because this is just about my life and me and I want it be real.  So I'm not all that guarded and perhaps I should be more so.  Anyway, I guess I'm just wondering if it's reasonable to expect people to be cool with me having a personal blog completely separate from "professional" blog.  Like if they want to know about me, the real person or whatever, they're welcome to find out.  But if they just care about the pictures, then this isn't the place for them.  And if the "real me" want to use the word "crap" or call someone an idiot, will that cause them to feel uncomfortable with me photographing their children.  Of course I would never call a four year old an idiot, at least not where they could hear me.  What do you think?  Right now the stuff I write just has to be appropriate enough for my mom and mother-in-law to read and not be too offended or embarrassed.  BTW, if I end up making this blog public, I may delete this post.  Not sure.

A writer in the making

For as long as I can remember I have been writing stuff.  Whether it was long, rambling stories about invisible people or dragons, silly poems, dark teenage "woe is me" type poems, or songs, I've just always written.  It's always been an outlet for me to kind of purge whatever is going on in my head.  I'm not here to talk about the quality of the stuff that was written, because that's another thing entirely.  But I am and always have been a writer or one who writes.... stuff. Anyway, I was just thinking about a poem that I wrote when I was about 9 or 10.  I'm guessing at the age but I know I wasn't older than ten because I remember writing it and I remember the house we lived in.  Anyway, it's kind of funny so I'll share it with you along with some preseng day commentary.  For some reason I'v never forgotten it.  Be kind.  This was written by a child.

Fall

Fall is full of leaves and soft, sweet gusts of wind.

Fall is full of happiness, laughs, and soft, sweet grins.  (Notice the soft, sweet usage)

Flowers are growing, people are gayly singing (I no longer use "gay" in this way)

all throughout the season.

I love Fall.  Everyone should.

And if not, you have no reason. (30 year old translation: you're an idiot if you don't like fall)

But as Fall slowly passes by, I'll just walk away and sigh.

There's nothing left for me to do

Except wait another year with you....  (So dramatic.  I guess I've always exaggerated my woes.)

Isn't that just one of the sweetest (and gayest) things you've ever read?  This was before my cynicism kicked in.  I was a big time rhymer until probably 14 years old or so.  I once rhymed cobbler with gobbler in a Thanksgiving poem.  So anyway, I just thought someone might get a kick out of that.... or not, whatever.    

Jackson is just too cute! And Mikey is WILD!

Here are a few Easter pictures of Jackson.  The last two are from his school Easter egg hunt. He's just cute.

That day was kind of crazy.  If you can, imagine me pushing a stroller, holding a camera that's too big for me and 26 pounds of Mikey writhing and screaming in my arms,  trying to take pictures of Jackson.  (For all of you grammar people, I know that sentence is bad and I don't care.)

I asked Jackson later if Mikey embarrassed him at his egg hunt.  He seemed completely puzzled by the question and said something like, "No, of course he didn't embarrass me.  Why would he have embarrassed me."  Oh, to live in such a state of obliviousness!  How wonderful would that be.  Is that even a word? 

I think I lost a couple of pounds during that half hour event.  We left way before it was over because Mikey had simply had enough.  I think the rest of the crowd was really glad when we left too.  The looks I get when Mikey is doing his temper tantrum stuff are pretty funny.  They range from understanding to pity to annoyance to flat out contempt.   And to top that off, I walked from our house to the school with the stroller and the camera.  So I had to walk back after I was already fatigued from wrestling with Mikey.  We live about 1/4 mile from the school at the most so now I'm just being whiny.  Anyway, I needed a nap that I didn't get.  Such a martyr, I know.

So, anyway, here are a couple of pictures of my relatively calm child.  Very soon I'll be putting pictures of my tornado on here.  His eyelashes are still enough to make up for his craziness.

Adoption date

I put this on my other blog and e-mailed it to a bunch of people but I forgot to put it on here. 

We have an adoption date.  It will be Monday, April 7th @ 9:00 a.m. at the Brazoria Court House. And then I can put as many pictures of Mikey wherever I want.  I think just for kicks I'll put a naked shot....just because I can.

Wedding update

My first wedding "gig" is behind me.  It was a really LONG day.  The wedding was in Hemphill, Tx and it took about four hours to get there.  It is seriously in the middle of nowhere.  It was fun and I'm glad I did it.  There were no major mishaps or catastrophes.  

I almost killed us driving on the way home but thankfully the person I almost ran into was paying closer attention to the road than I was and didn't hit us.  Phillip thinks we would have lived; we just would have been horribly disfigured.  Personally, I think we would have been toast.  It scared me to death!  

Anyway, about the wedding..... I put a few pictures on my photo blog.  I don't think I'm going to be in any hurry to do anymore weddings.  It's a lot of pressure and extremely time consuming. Now I've got about 500 pictures or so to go through and adjust.  I really don't even want to think about that right now.  

I wish that I had written down some of the funny things we saw on the way there and back.  We just saw lots of funny names of people, churches, sign, etc.  But it's past time to go to bed and I don't feel like trying to remember any of them right now.  

But here's one thought to leave you with.  What the heck is mayhaw jelly?  

Wedding tomorrow

Tomorrow I will be photographing my first wedding.  It will be a small outdoor wedding by a lake.  I'm hoping the weather is nice but not too sunny.  I'm a little anxious about it just because you've only got one shot with a wedding.  There are no re-dos.  Anyway, hopefully it will go really well and I'll have some nice wedding pictures to add to my other blog.  I don't plan on doing weddings regularly or even advertising for weddings.  It's just too much pressure for me right now.  And I don't have the adequate equipment to do an indoor wedding or the money (or desire) to buy it.  So, I guess we'll see how it goes.  

Adoption frustration.... beware of rambling rant

We were hoping to finalize Mikey's adoption on March 24th or the 31st at the latest.  But time and time again in this process, what I thought was the plan was actually not the plan.  You would think by this time I would stop even trying to make any plans.  

Anyway, the judge who is doing our adoption goes to our church and she said we could tentatively set a date and then nail that down once the 90 day waiting period is over.  But the agency we're going through needs more time get all of their stupid ducks in a row so it could take a few weeks longer than I thought.  So maybe we'll be shooting for the first or second week in April.  And to further complicate things, Mikey's CPS worker has dropped off the face of the planet and we don't know when she'll be back and who (if anybody) is handling her cases.

Is a few weeks a big deal?  Maybe not to anyone but us, but we've had this baby for 14 months and we're ready to be done with this process.  I'm tired of filling out the daily paperwork and having to constantly fax stuff to our agency.  I'm tired of people dropping in unannounced to "visit" my child.  I'm tired of kissing up to these people so I don't rock the boat.  I'm SICK of my son being referred to by his birth name at doctor visits and CPS visits.  Is it all worth it to have Mikey in our lives?  Absolutely!  And I would go through all of it and more again if I had to just to keep him in our lives.  

Our situation with Mikey has gone very smoothly compared to many other cases we've heard about.  I know we should just consider ourselves lucky.  And we do feel very fortunate that we got him from birth and that we didn't have to go through several other babies before we got to him.  Even so, this has been a very frustrating process.  We will not keep up our foster home license once he's adopted.  And we will not try to get anymore children through the foster care system.  And I think it's really a shame that the process, the paperwork, and the red tape keep solid families from even stepping foot into this circus.  There are hundreds, probably thousands of kids in Texas alone who need to be adopted.  I can pretty much guarantee that the process to adopt these kids is much more of a pain in the butt than the kids themselves.  And that says a lot, trust me.

So once we finally have a date that works for everybody and their mother, I'll let everyone know.  

Photo biz

I have a pretty busy month ahead of me and I'm really excited about it and a little bit overwhelmed.  As of right now for March, I have 6 shoots and a wedding.  I'm also doing a couple of different things for the church during March that won't bring in much money but will take up some time.  I realize this is not a crazy amount of projects, but it's more than I've had so far.  I just need to concentrate on each thing as it comes rather than trying to think of it all right now.

We're also going to have to find time to adopt Mikey and plan his adoption party during all of this.  The judge who will be doing the adoption has put us down (tentatively) for 1:00 on Monday, the 24th.  I can't officially set that date with my attorney until the 90 day period is up on the 11th.

I have a new (used) lens, grip, and battery in the mail.  I was hoping the order would be here in time for a new baby shoot on Friday but I don't think it's going to happen.  I decided to get a used Canon 28-70 mm f/2.8 L lens from Adorama.  It is several years old but in excellent condition.  I hope I don't regret buying a used lens.  It saved me about $350 over the newer 24-70.  This is a tank of a lens and is regarded as one of the best all around Canon lenses ever made.  It was still pretty dang pricey and I just hope it holds up for several more years.

I'm looking at Canon point and shoot cameras and I may be buying one in the near future.  I've got my eye on a used Powershot Pro 1.  It sports a nice L zoom lens and it's supposed to be a pretty great point and shoot.  I'm beginning to realize that hauling around my SLR and lenses to family functions and other such events may not be the wisest thing to be doing.  I can protect my investment much better by leaving it safely at home for those kinds of things.  Also, it would be cool to have a good little camera again with a swivel LCD to use from time to time.

I've taken a few pictures above people with them laying on the ground and I can't do that kind of shot with my SLR without a ladder.  

It's kind of a silly novelty shot, but it's fun anyway.  

It's amazing to me how quickly I've accumulated respectable equipment.  Most of what I've made so far has gone back into equipment so I'm hoping soon I'll be making some actual profit.  There will probably always be thing that I want or "need" but I should be set for while.  

My sick children

I took Mikey to the doctor yesterday because I suspected he might have another ear infection.  He gave little indication that his ear was bothering him but given his history and a slight fever on Tuesday, I decided to take him.  And his left ear is infected and ruptured because of it.  You would think that if your ear was so full of gunk that it ruptured, you would be in quite a lot of pain.  We really didn't know anything was wrong with him.  He's going to be seeing the ear, nose, and throat guy pretty soon to have his hearing checked and he might end up having to get tubes in his ears.  He's had several ear infections since the beginning of December.

In other news, Jackson started running a fever about 5:00 yesterday evening.  It quickly went up to about 104 so we took him out to the Emergency Room.  They tried Motrin and that brought it down so we came back home.  And he seems fine this morning.  Since I seem to catch everything, I'll probably catch whatever virus he has.  Last night in the ER Jackson pointed out (not very quietly) that "that man over there is naked."  He wasn't actually naked, he just didn't have a shirt on.....and he should have.....it was gross.

Date Night

Every Tuesday evening is "date night" for Phillip and me.  When we first heard about couples having a designated night a week to get away we didn't really think that was something we would ever do.  I guess it's probably been a couple of years now since we've been doing Tuesday date night.  It is pretty high on our priority list.  We are lucky enough to live close to our parents so we don't have to break the bank on sitters.  And it gives our kids and their grandparents time to build important bonds.  

So, why do we do it?  We do it so that just for a few hours we can exist together without worrying about anybody else.  We can eat in relative peace and say the words "stupid" and "crap" if we feel like it.  We can talk about stuff besides Ninja Turtles, Wii games, or letter sounds.  Just for a little while we can hang out the way we did before we had kids.  It keeps us connected.  I think it helps us remember why we chose each other in the first place.  

Today is Tuesday and so this evening after Phillip gets home we'll pack up the kids and their stuff and take them to Nana & Granddad's house.  We'll go eat at one of our limited number of decent restaurant in town.  We may go to Target or Hastings and just wander around together. We'll probably discreetly make fun of a few people by just giving each other "the look."  And we'll most likely end up talking about the kids even though we're trying to get away from them.  It's pretty simple, really.  We never do anything fancy or expensive.  But it's one of the most meaningful things for our whole family.      

Jedi Master

Here is a collection of Jackson pics.  I don't think he's ever going to outgrow his lightsaber obsession.  It's cute now but it's going to be pretty geeky if he's still playing with them when he's like 18.  

I really don't know why I make so many collage type things of my kids.  I usually don't ever do anything with them.  I just like making them and seeing the finished product.  If I actually displayed all of these in my house, it would look totally nuts.  I put the wrong date on this one, but I can't change it now without redoing the whole thing...and that's just not going to happen. Usually I save these things as PSDs but not if they're just for me.  

So anyway, here is our little Jedi.

Because it's been a while

I haven't posted any Jackson pictures in a while. I used to take a lot more pictures of him. For one thing, he doesn't like for me to take pictures of him anymore. And also, he used to be home a lot more before he started Kindergarten. Anyway, here are some silly Jackson pictures. And yes, he is wearing Spiderman gloves in the first picture. We went to the park and he wanted to wear them. But after I accidentally threw him in the mud, they got muddy and he didn't want to wear them anymore. Go figure.

My ridges are worn

I just got home from having my fingerprinting done. And the lady told me that I might have to come back and do it again because my ridges are worn. Why are my ridges worn? I'm only 30 years old. By the time I'm 60 I guess I won't have any ridges left. I think this is just devastating news.

Fingerprints and other stuff

Today Phillip and I are getting fingerprinted....again. This time it's not just for the state of Texas, but federal. And this time it's electronic so no yucky, sticky ink all over the fingers. We have to go to two separate locations because Phillip has to go to a place closer to his school so he doesn't have to take off work. So, I'll be driving out to Pearland later....what fun. I might have to visit Starbucks while I'm out there.

Phillip and I were talking about this whole fingerprinting thing a few days ago. We decided that if we're ever stupid enough to commit a really bad crime, we better remember to wear gloves.

Adoption plans are still moving along. I need to call our attorney today and see if we can work on nailing down a date. I'm not sure if we can even set the date until the 90 days is up. We'll see.

Mikey's rash is much better now. He's still a little splotchy, but nothing like it was. He got much worse after those pictures I posted. His entire body was one red mess.

Once the adoption is final, I'll be posting like a thousand pictures of that beautiful child on this blog. And I can hardly wait.

I started working on his adoption announcement last night. It's going to be kind of hard to fit in all the info I want to fit without looking really stupid. I bought some really cute baby announcements that are in PSD format so they can be edited and stuff in Photoshop. I thought I would try my hand at designing announcements, but it takes a lot of time and at this point I think I'd rather just pay someone else to do it. Mine are kind of lame anyway. I need to buy some graduation announcements and Christmas card templates before too long.

Phillip has done some more work on my photography page. He changed the index slide show and just cleaned stuff up a bit. I really like the way it looks. I'm considering putting some music of some kind on it, but I'm not sure if that's totally lame or not. I've got a few shoots coming up in the next few weeks. Things are moving kind of slow, but I think this kind of thing can just take a while to get going. I'm planning on having a thing made for the rear window of my truck soon with my name and web address and stuff. But I'm pretty sure that if anyone happened to see it they would forget how to spell "Hintze" by the time they got home. I've done a couple of shoots in peoples' homes and I'll be doing some more of that soon. I really like doing that....a lot! I hope that can be something I can do a lot more of. I was initially thinking I would try to have a home studio, but I would really rather just do stuff in homes and outside. Studio stuff is kind of stuffy.

Anyway, I better get ready for my fingerprint trip. I hope they don't manhandle my poor, injured finger.

Happy Valentine's Day....NOT

What do you think of this valentine? Pretty classy, huh? I thought so.

Allergic to Penicillin

Well, it seems that Mikey is allergic to Penicillin and that's what is causing his breakout.  He looks really bad and probably will for a few days but it's not contagious.  

Mikey has spots

Mikey went to bed with a slight rash and woke up with a mojor rash.  So, we'll be going to the doctor later this morning.  It's probably an allergic reaction to the antibiotic he's on for his ears.  

This morning Jackson said, "Do NOT walk me in (to school) today.  I do NOT want anybody to see Mikey like that."  

Moms like me

Today I was watching one of the many shows that come on t.v. about pregnancy and having a baby. These shows are all basically the same with a few different "twists." Anyway, today this show was about a couple who struggled for years with infertility and were finally expecting their long-awaited child. The beautiful expectant mother said (with tears in her eyes) "You'll never hear me complain about waking up in the middle of the night. I've had many sleepless nights crying because I didn't have a baby. You'll never hear me complain." And I truly think at that moment she meant every word. And I just thought, "Oh sweetie, you have to allow yourself to be human or you are going to feel so much guilt down the road."

Being a mom is a hard job, everybody knows that. But I think there's an added element of responsibility if your child is the long-awaited-prayed for-glorious gift from God that you've always wanted. I've talked to lots of moms in the last few years who have had problems having children. And several of them feel such enormous guilt at how frustrated they get with these kids they have so longed for.

It's like they put this child in your arms and at that moment he is just the most perfect thing ever created and you hear trumpets and sunbeams from heaven come down and envelope you and all this stuff....and.....then.....he.....just.....becomes.....your........kid. And the things that you day dreamed about become your everyday reality and it's just not so pretty or cute anymore. And you find all the things about him endearing, just not all the time.

Sometimes moms like myself, who have had a hard time having kids, feel like we have to put forth this aura of jubilee all the time. Like we have to love our kids a little more than "other" moms. Like we have to consider every whine and thrown toy and dirty diaper a blessed event to be treasured. But the truth is that we can't. And we don't. We're just moms and they're just our kids. And sometimes when we let our guard down around someone who knows our "situation" and complain or show our frustration people like to remind us how much we wanted that blessed child in the first place.

Both of our boys are miracles and the greatest gifts we have ever or will ever receive. But they are devious little creatures, and I am just their mom and I reserve the right to want to throw in the towel sometimes. I reserve the right to give a long sigh of relief when they're finally asleep or when we have dropped them off with the grandparents for some peace and quiet. I reserve the right to complain sometimes about how crazy they make me feel.

Because I know how treasured they are. And more importantly, they know how treasured they are.

Hanes

Burn, baby, burn

Check out this lovely little injury.


I burned my first and middle fingers on some grease while I was cooking onion rings. It hurt REALLY bad! The middle one got the worst of it. I got Phillip to take a picture of it so I could share my pain and agony with all you nice people. The onion rings were really good.

changes to jhintze.com

Phillip has been working hard to make some much needed changes to my photography web site. Check it out. I think it looks pretty cool!

This day

I think I probably do best when I actually have something to do. I like the thought of having nothing to do when I'm busy, but when it actually happens, it just feels weird. Jackson is at school and Mikey's with Phillilp's parents. I used to work on Fridays before I quit my job. I had a few errands to run this morning. Only one of those things actually got accomplished. It's just too dang cold outside. Too cold to live is what I always tell Phillip. I was going to take some documents to our attorney, but I decided to mail them instead. I watched a movie earlier, but I kept looking at the clock like there was something I was supposed to be doing. I could straighten up a few things around the house, but once the kids get home you'll never be able to tell that it was clean. I think I kind of like it in a little disarray anyway. Earlier I caught myself leaning against a doorway staring at nothing. I could work on editing some photos, but the room where the computer is, the room I'm in now, is by far the coldest room in the house. My hands and feet are absolutely freezing. In a couple of hours Mikey will be home and I'll soon forget that I was searching for something to do. Anyway, I think I'm going to go eat some chicken and dumplings under a blanket on the couch and see what idiotic show I can find to watch on t.v.

Canon 30D

Phillip and I sold our Panasonic FZ-50 camera last week on ebay. And I'll be listing my Canon 10D on ebay today or tomorrow. By selling those two cameras, I was able to upgrade to a (slightly used) Canon 30D. I ordered it this morning. I was really torn between the 20D and 30D. There's about a $200 price difference and the major difference in the cameras is that the 30D has a much larger LCD screen. I think I'll be glad to have the larger LCD once I begin using it, but I'm still not quite sure if it's worth the price difference. I really like my 10D, but there are a few things about it that get on my nerves. The main thing is the noise level at higher ISO speeds. Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting the new camera. I've never really been one to be too consumed with buying stuff and more stuff. But it seems like there's still lots of photography equipment that I feel like I "need." I think with this camera and the two lenses I currently have, I should be able to do what I need to do for a while anyway. My photography web site will be undergoing an overhaul in the next few weeks as we begin to add some flash elements to it. So, we'll see how that goes.

Fun with actions

I downloaded a bunch of free Photoshop actions today and have been playing with them. This picture has a few different kind of color boost things going on and the frame is another action.

The Climber

Mikey climbed on to the coffee table yesterday for the first time....that I know of, anyway. He climbed on it, stood up, and tried to jump up and down in the middle of it. Keep in mind this child is 12 months old! Phillip and I were telling him "no, no" while I was taking pictures. That probably sends some kind of mixed message. He has sat in time out a couple of times today for doing it again. Time out for him consists of us removing him from what he's doing and sitting him down in the floor....and then he gets right back up and does the same thing again. I'm pretty sure we're going to find this kid on top of the refrigerator or the roof someday.

Mikey's birthday cake

We were supposed to be having Mikey's 1st birthday party today. But Phillip's dad is sick and now Jackson is sick. And I'm afraid Mikey might be coming down with it too. Hopefully we'll have his little party next weekend. I bought a little cake on Thursday and we have a very rushed "party" with just the four of us. Since I can't post any pictures of Mikey digging into his cake, I guess I'll just post the cake. It's kind of funny how I've gotten used to taking pictures of his life that I can post. I've got so many pictures of the back of him, it's ridiculous. If there's some kind of special occasion or something I have to intentionally take some that don't show his face.

Birthday Baby

Today is Mikey's 1st birthday. I wish I could post a picture of him (that's not the back of his head). It's hard to believe we've had that kid a year already. Jackson thinks he's going to wake up and be able to talk since he's 1. I guess stranger things have happened.

A good little cat

Well, I let Pearl out this afternoon for a couple of hours. We got a call a little while ago from a neighbor down the street letting us know that Pearl was hit by a car. Phillip went down there and got her collar off of her neck. I don't really know why, but we felt like we should keep it. We're all pretty upset. We will not be getting another cat.

She's home!!!

Pearl showed up this morning on our porch cold and hungry, but otherwise fine. I'm so relieved. I was really worried about her. I'm going to be a little more reluctant to put her outside again, but I can't be scooping litter for the next 12 years or however long she might live. I'll figure that out later. Today she's just going to stay inside.

Pearl is missing

We let Pearl the cat out yesterday for a little while so she could start getting used to being outside. And she disappeared and has not come back yet. I've been driving around the neighborhood today and talking to lots of neighbors. I'm pretty mad at myself for letting her out. I guess I should have kept her inside for a bit longer until she she knew it was her home. We just don't have good luck with cats. She has a collar with tags so I'm hoping someone will find her and call. I'm pretty down about the whole thing.

Photo booth pictures

These were taken with Phillip's new MacBook. It's got a little camera on it and some thing that makes the pictures all weird.