Pumpkin Patch 2007 Attempt #1

We went to the Pumpkin Patch this evening to get a few pictures and let Jackson run around like a fool. It was 7:00 when we got around to getting over there so the pictures turned out less than great. But that's okay, we've got several more weeks to get some better ones. Anyway, I thought I would post a few here anyway. I got some pretty cute ones of Mikey, but I can only post one where you can't see his face. So dumb, I'll be glad when I don't have to worry about that anymore. Can you even imagine my frustration with not being able to post pictures of my kid online?? Anyway, here are some pictures.






We tried to get some of the boys together, but Jackson was not being very cooperative. Neither was Mikey, but that goes without saying. Jackson's idea of cooperating is sitting still and staring off into space. Here are some Jackson faces that I cropped out of some pictures so you can see how goofy he is. Maybe we'll have better luck next time.

Things that make me feel happy

I saw a woman on a t.v. show recommending that you take note of the things every day that bring happiness to your life. I don't really see myself starting a "happiness journal" and jotting something down every day. But just because, I thought I would list some things that regularly bring me happiness. A lot of times I'm too busy or distracted to take notice of these things. Maybe writing some things down will help me to pay more attention.

• The smell of my kids' hair, whether clean or dirty
  
• Our old creaky wood floors
• Snuggling up with a fleece blanket when my feet are cold...and my feet are always cold
• How Phillip's hands are somehow always warm regardless of the temperature in the room
  
• Watching my kids sleep
• My bed (daily statement: "I love Bed.")
• Reading a book while dirty dishes are in the sink (and not feeling guilty about it)
  
• Coffee, anytime, anywhere, hot, cold, frozen, just not black
  
• Watching Phillip play with the kids
• Honest conversation
• Getting a new haircut, which I really need to do by the way
• Singing in the car and not caring who sees me
• Trying to take a cute picture of a baby who never stops moving
  

Reading Acts

This week I started reading the book of Acts. There's some crazy stuff in there. I honestly don't know if I've ever read much of that book before. Most of it so far sounds vaguely familiar but that's about it. Really, I haven't ever taken the time to read much of the New Testament. I've read lots of bits and pieces here and there, but never in such a way to get "the big picture." The Old Testament has always interested me more. Anyway, it just kind of occurred to me lately that I need to educate myself more on Jesus' life. I know the main stuff about his life and what he did. But I don't know much about the people he entrusted his ministry to. And I don't have a decent grasp of the chronology of all that stuff. So, that's my plan for the next few months or whatever. To really read and hopefully remember some of that stuff. You just never know when an opportunity might arise to impress someone with your Biblical knowledge. For those few readers who don't get jokes, that was a joke.

A Chill-Out Day

Jackson has been begging to stay home from school ever since it started. Today he got his wish thanks to a fever during the night. This morning he seems to be feeling absolutely fine but I sure don't want to get any kids in his class sick. So today will be a day of snacking on gold fish, watching lame kid shows, and just taking it easy. I really hope he doesn't get any sicker because the folks are supposed to be taking him camping this weekend.

Elementary School Lunch

I took Jackson lunch today and ate with him at school. There's this traffic light thing in the cafeteria. If the kids are getting too loud, the light goes to red and an alarm sounds. Then they're supposed to be quiet until the light goes back to green or yellow. That dang alarm must have gone off five or six times in the thirty minutes we were there. And I didn't even think things were that loud when it went off in the first place. You would think that lunch and recess would be the two places where they can just relax and socialize with their friends. Whatever, I guess they need to learn some kind of self-control. I got to meet a few of the kiddos in Jackson's class. And I got to see one little dude mix his applesauce and his catchup and eat it. He added a few green beans too, just for an added bonus. It's kind of cool to be able to put some faces with the names that he talks about all the time. There's one little girl named Chloe and she is such a cutie. She's got a couple of loose teeth and was having a heck of a time trying to eat her apple. I was really surprised at how many kids eat the school lunch. I would think that most kindergarteners would bring their lunches. I guess Jackson's just kind of high maintenance. Oh well, his lunch probably costs less than a buck a day, about half of what the school lunch costs.

I'm ready for this day to be over!

It's 11:20 a.m. and I've already had it with this day! Between work (church) stuff, my husband being tied with up with church band responsibilities, an unhappy baby, and my children pooping at inconvenient times and places I am already completely stressed out, ticked off, and exhausted. And this day is not even close to being over yet. I still have to do lots more work (church) stuff, figure out what my family is eating for lunch and dinner, and go to small group. I don't want to do any of it. I want to go check into a hotel and not have to see or speak to anyone until tomorrow at the earliest. But I can't do that, so instead I'll just share a little of my frustration with those of you reading this. I have decided that I will not do anymore work stuff on Sundays anymore. They simply do not pay me enough. The message today was about His Needs/Her Needs in marriage. I didn't get to hear it because I had to go get my screaming child. So Phillip, I'm afraid you're outta luck, pal.

The rug just got yanked

I wrote in my last post that I still feel like someone's going to yank the rug out from underneath me. Well, that happened today. Things are really still fine. Mikey is not going anywhere. But we will not be adopting in November. There was some serious miscommunication going on. Basically, bio. mom did relinquish her rights, but the official court termination order has not been done yet. We were told that it had been done already. It is not scheduled to be done until the end of October. And as of September 1, there is a 90 waiting period after termination for adoption (That used to be 45 days). So, we're probably looking at February at the earliest. If we had been told this a month ago we would have been totally cool with it. But now, given the inaccurate information we've been given, we're really ticked (to put it nicely).

National Adoption Day...not really National

I met with our attorney on Friday and she seems pretty nice. Things seem to be moving along well. I found out that National Adoption Day is different from one county to the next. Brazoria County's National Adoption Day is on Thursday, November 15 instead of Saturday, the 17th like I thought. Why call it National Adoption Day if it's not the same day throughout the Nation??? So, everyone who will be going with us is either going to have to take off work or school so that stinks. I'm sure we will have a lot less people there since it will be during the week. Oh well, that's just the way it is. It was weird to sit down with the attorney and talk through the adoption stuff. It is beginning to seem more real. It was strange to tell her what Mikey's new name will be. The whole thing is just so official or something. I'm still a little afraid someone is going to come along and pull the rug out from under me. I guess that's understandable.

Some Jackson Faces

I haven't put any pictures of Jackson on here in a little while. Here are some from today. He's quite a character.

Oops!

I had kind of a "bad mommy" moment yesterday evening. I was trying to get some stuff cleaned up around the house and I accidentally on purpose threw away some of Jackson's school work. On purpose because I meant to do it, accidentally because I did not mean for him to see it in the trash can. When he saw it he said something like, "Hey, you should not have thrown my school work away! I worked really hard on that!" I was caught off guard and kind of laughed a little, which I should not have done. Anyway, I told him that it was an accident and I was meaning to throw away some other stuff and I accidentally grabbed that too. I don't really know if he believed me or not. But I dug some of it out of the trash can (it was on top so it wasn't too gross yet.)

He comes home with four or five papers everyday. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with this stuff. I have a drawer already full of his work from pre-school and now kindergarten. I want to keep a few cute things, and distribute some stuff to the grandparents. I guess next time I decide to purge some his work, I'll need to put it in a separate bag and put that in the trash. Poor guy! They make him do all this junk at school so he can take it home and his mommy can throw it in the garbage. Oh well, he'll survive I guess.

Mikey Goes to the Shrink

I had to take Mikey to a psychologist today. Is a psychologist considered a shrink or just a psychiatrist? Anyway, he needed a developmental assessment before he's adopted. I think the whole thing is so silly. I understand why it's necessary, but it's still a waste of time.

Phillip and I had to go last week to meet with her and tell her all about Mikey and his personality, what he likes, what he doesn't, what makes him mad, how he acts when he's angry, how he does socially, etc. We said that he doesn't like carrots. I think she was looking for something deeper. We sat on "the couch."

So, anyway, she thinks Mikey is right on track but she thinks he may have some language delays. Language delays??!! He's 8 months old for crying out loud. What language is he supposed to have? He babbles just fine. She said that he should be saying a few words like momma, dadda, bye-bye, and stuff like that. That's ridiculous. She apparently doesn't know anything about babies. He says momma and dadda, but I think it's just meaningless babble at this point. Jackson didn't start saying actual words until he was about 10 or 11 months old and he was talking very early and developed a large vocabulary very quickly. By the way, all this stuff reminds me that Jackson asked last night if Mikey speaks Spanish. Silly kid.

Anyway, we can check this off the list of things we have to do to adopt this kiddo. I am meeting with the attorney on Friday afternoon so that should be fun. Meeting with shrinks and attorneys is new ground for me. Hopefully, once this adoption thing is over I won't be seeing anymore shrinks or attorneys for a very long time.

The Whole Kindergarten Thing

Jackson is beginning to have kind of a hard time with going to kindergarten. I think when the day gets started, he's probably fine. But he's been crying a little before school and trying really hard not to cry while he's there. This morning he said that every day of kindergarten is longer than the one before it. I think if it were just until noon, he would be absolutely fine. It's just too long for him. I kind of wish now that I'd looked more seriously into the local Christian school. They have half day kindergarten. But it's very expensive and there's just no way we could afford that right now. And their teachers aren't certified anyway, not that that means anything, I guess. This morning Jackson was trying so hard to be brave and keep himself from crying. And it took everything in me not to cry right along with him. This whole kindergarten thing is just really hard on all of us. The mommy in me wants to just say, "You know what? Forget it. This kindergarten thing is for the birds. You can just stay home with me and Mikey and run around in your underwear and play all day." But that's not realistic. We've thought about homeschooling, but I think I would kind of stink at it and Jack really needs to be around other kids. I'm really hoping he gets used to his new life. He just seems to be getting more upset about the whole thing rather than accustom to it.

Adoption Day Stuff

As most of you know, we're shooting for November 17th to adopt Mikey. That is National Adoption Day. I'll be meeting with our attorney soon to start on filing the appropriate paperwork.

I spoke with a Brazoria County judge and Chair"woman" of Brazoria County National Adoption Day. She goes to our church....how convenient is that?? Anyway, I had a chance to speak with her for a few minutes today at church. She told me there is no limit to the number of people we can have there with us. She said the most they've had is about 30 people for one family...I totally think we can top that! She said they do anywhere from 15-30 (ish) adoptions on that day every year. And she said that it moves pretty quickly and there's a reception going on the whole time so once you're done, you can go hang out at the party.

So, if you're interested in adopting Mikey with us, mark your calendars for November 17. You don't have to get a shirt. That's optional. I'll have more details as the date gets closer. I don't anticipate any hold ups that would keep us from adopting him on that day. But until I have a chance to speak with our attorney, I don't want to make too many plans....or get too many shirts.

Mikey t-shirt, modified

I worked on the Mikey t-shirt a little more and I think this is what we're going to go with. I can get this shirt in kid sizes so that will be cool. Also, I can get this same sort of thing printed on a onesie for Mikey to wear also. Now I just need to find out how many people can be with us that day.

mikey! t-shirt

I thought it might be fun if I had matching t-shirts made for the people who will be at Mikey's adoption. But I don't know if anyone would actually want to wear it or not. I'm usually not a fan of matching shirts, but for this occasion, it could be cool. What do you think? Would you wear a Mikey shirt? Is it worth $12?? Is this a totally lame and cheesy idea?

Cleaning Jackson's Room

I'm kind of in the middle of sorting through Jackson's junk in his room and trying to get it organized. For the most part, we make him clean his own room. But every now and then I grab a garbage bag and go in there when he's not home and get rid of stuff. Stuff like junky toys from various fast food restaurants that he never plays with and just broken stuff. Anyway, here are just a few non-toy items I found in his toys box in addition to his 6 guns, 5 swords, 11 Zoo Pal paper plates...
- 2 rocks
- 3 pencils
- an empty yogurt container (clean, I hope)
- an Oriental trading magazine
- a toothbrush
- 2 cds

If he were home he would have a reasonable good excuse for keeping everything I'm getting rid of. That's why I do it when he's not here. I just need to make sure I empty the kitchen trash before he gets home or he'll try to start retrieving stuff.

Introducing....My photography web site

Hey, I'm proud to announce the beginning of J.Hintze Photography. I finally decided that if I'm going to be taking so many pictures, I should probably try to make a little money doing it. I hope to acquire more experience, equipment, and clients as time goes by. I'm hoping this can be a fun and somewhat profitable little part time endeavor.

Horace

Phillip and I were in the "Coasters" and the Jazz Band out at Brazosport College when we were younger. That's where we kind of met....again. Anyway, there was this really cool middle aged guy in those groups with us named Horace. He kind of watched out for us little kids. Anyway, Phillip and I both really like this guy. There was one time when we were dating that we decided to play the basketball game, H.O.R.S.E., but instead we decided to play H.O.R.A.C.E. We were just talking about that the other day and thinking that it was pretty funny. I'm pretty sure Phillip kicked my butt at H.O.R.A.C.E.

Checker at Kroger

There's this checker at Kroger I try to avoid if possible. She was our neighbor when I was a little kid and she feels the need to talk to me about her family and my family ever time I see her. Not that I mind a little friendly chit-chat, but the annoying thing is that she doesn't seem to remember anything I told her the last time we talked. Every time I go through her line she asks how my mom is doing. I tell her that she's fine. She always asks me if my mom is still living in Angleton. I tell her that she lives in West Columbia. My mom has never lived in Angleton as far as I know. I just saw this woman about two or three weeks ago and Mikey was with me. I told her a little about him at that time, just that he was a foster placement right now and that we're hoping to adopt him in a few months. I went trough her line today and she said, "Oh, you got a new one. I haven't seen you in such a long time. I didn't know you had another baby." I just smiled and said, "yep." Like what's the point of retelling the same story every time I see her. Is she just getting old? Has she had brain trauma? Does she just really not care enough to remember anything I told her last time? If that's the case, why does she always ask the same questions? Just annoying.

Great News!!

My Arrow Project worker called today to let me know that Mikey's biological mom relinquished her rights. So now, it looks like we'll be shooting for some time in November to make this kiddo a Hintze. There just aren't words to describe how excited and relived I am. Here's non-identifying picture of the little dude. Check out his Spiderman PJs. Soon we'll be able to post pictures of his pretty little face.

Some Things About Kindergarten

Jackson started Kindergarten today. (Should "Kindergarten" be capitalized or not??? Im sure Phillip or Maury will tell me later.) There were no parting tears. He did really well. And I didn't get choked up until I was out of the building.

When we went for "meet the teacher" we were given their daily schedule. It looks completely overwhelming. They pack a lot into their day. It seems like when I was in Kindergarten we just played with play dough, ate glue, read books, and played with toys...oh yeah, and picked our noses.

Which leads me to the three rules I gave Jackson this morning before school:

1. Keep your fingers out of your nose.
2. Be a good friend.
3. Listen to your teacher.

I think we could all do well to remember those three things. What a better world it would be if we could all abide by those three rules. Ok, so here are a few pictures from before school. As you can tell, he was being a ham as usual.





And here are a few from after school.


Leslie, do you recognize that kid sitting next to Jackson??

So, after we got home I pulled out the junk in his back pack and found this...


I asked Jackson what the red scribbles were all over the picture. (I was afraid I knew the answer before he told me.) And he told me that a bomb went off. That spider-looking thing below the car is a bomb and if you look closely you can see two or three other bombs in the page. I guess all of the red everywhere are flames. Lovely. I'm sure that made a great first impression on his teacher. "I'm sorry, your child needs therapy. He has some very disturbing and violent tendencies."

Alright, so that's it. My baby started Kindergarten.

Pretty sure

Mikey has a new CPS worker. She came today for a brief visit. I asked if anything new was going on with bio. mom and she said she's "pretty sure that mom signed the relinquishment papers....almost positive."

PRETTY SURE!!! Are you kidding me? So, I kept my cool. I said things like, "Yeah? Well, we'd really like to know if that's the case or not. I know you have a busy schedule, but if you could call me and let me know for sure, that would be great." (No sarcasm. I said all this stuff like the polite young lady that I'm not.) Inside I'm screaming, "What do you mean, you're not sure?? How can this be??? And if they were signed, when were they signed???? Why was I not notified????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??!! AAHHHHH!!!"

But I kept my cool. No need ticking off CPS. She assured me at 11:00 she was going back to her office and she would check his file and call me right away. So, I held off calling her until 4:30 and I left a (calm and collected) voice mail. I will call her again tomorrow afternoon and do the same thing. Good grief, why do we have to be jerked around like this.

So, you might be wondering what happens next if mom did sign the papers. Well, there will be a hearing to finalize termination in a month or two (?). And then once that's done, we can begin the process to finally adopt this kid. He could be a legal Hintze before the end of this year.

Unless, of course, she has our case mixed up with another one and then it could drag on for who knows how long. But I'm really trying to remain positive.

Look what I can do!

Mikey started pulling himself up in his crib on Sunday. We thought we had another few weeks before he started doing this. This kid is probably going to be walking by the time he's nine months old. He is so different from Jackson already. Jackson was and is very cautious and contemplative. This kid is fearless! He is definitely going to keep us on our toes. He does not stop moving unless he's asleep. I think these two kids are going to be polar opposites. It will be interesting to see how they get along as they get bigger. (Here's a non-identifying pic.)

Good morning

I got up pretty early this morning...for me. I got up at 5:45 when Phillip got up and made coffee and breakfast for him....such a good wife, I know. Yeah, right. He was like, "Who are you? What have you done with my wife?"

Anyway, so now it's like 6:30 and it's got to be just a matter of minutes before Mikey starts bopping around in his crib and then shortly after that Jack will be up too and then my day will really begin. I will probably start getting up this early from now on if I can function though the day on this little sleep. So, now I know I should take advantage of this time and read my Bible or something spiritual like that. But what am I doing instead? Blogging.

But...I thought I would take a quick minute instead of doing a devotional, to tell you about some interesting ones I tried yesterday. My friend and I are putting devotional stuff on our church web site, but it's not quite ready for public viewing yet. We're basically just linking to a bunch of online devotionals for various "types" of people. Anyway, we put a couple of visual reflection type things on yesterday that her husband found. They're a little bit bizarro, but they could be cool for the right person. Anyway, if you need something to do, you might want to check these out. I haven't looked at the guided tour.

- 4 Rooms

- Labyrinth (self-guided)

- Labyrinth (guided tour)

Ok, well, I better go try to get something meaningful done before they wake up. Is doing the dishes meaningful?

http://www.ordercats.com

Jackson wants to get another cat. We went to the SPCA site just to look at the cats and see what kind of mongrels they have. Anyway, Jackson asked if we could just order a cat online and they can send it to our house. I told him that you can't order cats, but you have to go to the place and pick one out and bring it home. He didn't believe me and told me to go to "www.ordercats.com." So, I did and it's not a website. It's so funny that these kids are growing up knowing that you can get almost anything online.

Bulcher

Jackson is pretty good at coming up with some strange names of characters. He is playing with some toys right now and he decided to name one of the little guys he's playing with Bulcher O. Disguise. Disguise is a pretty interesting last name, I think. I'm not sure what the "O" stands for. Jackson doesn't know what it stands for either.

Preparing for the wedding

Phillip's brother, Josh is getting married this evening. And I got a new (used) camera just in time to use for the occasion. It's a Canon 10D and we bought a new Canon EF 50mm lens. We just bought one lens for now and it's a pretty good, basic lens. It does really well indoors without the flash. So, anyway, here a few shots from the rehearsal last night and one of Ashley's hair from this morning. There will probably be lots more to follow in the next few days.

What a beautiful baby!

We get lots of comments from people when we're out with Mikey. He is a very pretty baby. Big eyes, long eyelashes. Most of the comments we get are just about his eyes and that kind of thing. Almost every time we go somewhere in public with him, someone says something about what a beautiful baby he is.

But we've gotten a couple of comments that are kind of funny. A few weeks ago our waitress at a restaurant called him "sexy daddy." We thought that was pretty funny. Today I went to the grocery store and an old man said, "He'll be drinkin' beer before you know it." That's encouraging.

Mikey is Hispanic/Caucasian and I've had a few Hispanic women come up in the Mall and start speaking to him in Spanish. And calling him "Papi" and "Mijo" and that kind of thing. I think that's pretty cool. Sometimes I wonder what people think when they see us all together. It's pretty obvious that we're not both his parents. They probably think Phillip's some kind of Saint and I'm some kind of floozy. I don't really care, it's just kind of funny to think about.

Wreckless

Mikey is crawling for real now. He's still pretty clumsy. He's not just crawling a couple of feet anymore, but all over the house. But the funny thing is that even though physically he can crawl, he's not quite smart enough yet to know what the heck he's doing. He crawls right into stuff without even slowing down. He'll crawl right on top of a toy instead of around it. And then he'll just keep going and kind of drag the toy along under his belly. If he runs into something (like the entertainment center), he just stays there with his head against it and cries because he doesn't know to turn around. Phillip said he didn't pass the written exam. I know he's fairly safe in the living room. I've made sure there are no small objects he can put in his mouth and that kind of thing. But I can't exactly keep him from running right into a hard surface. Hopefully in the next week or so he'll figure out what's going on.

Lookin' good

I had to come home from church because I remembered in the middle of the service that I forgot to send a bottle in the diaper bag. So, it's heating and I thought I would take a quick minute to blog.

As I was coming into the church building this morning with both boys, the diaper bag, and some soggy toast feeling rushed and sweaty, a really creepy weird guy at our church told me I was "looking good." What a way to start the day! Maybe I should have been flattered but mostly I felt disgusted. Anyway, just thought that was something worth sharing. Ok, gotta go.

On the move

Well, the little guy is crawling. He's not quite seven months old so it's kind of early for him to be crawling. He doesn't go very far yet, but it won't be long until he's all over the house. I wouldn't be surprised if this kid is walking by the time he's ten months old.

Forked again

Someone forked our yard again. They did a pretty pathetic job. If you're going to bother doing something, ladies, do it right. It took me and Jack all of two minutes to pick up the few forks you bothered to scatter around. I'm ashamed of you.

Camping Part 2

We've been home from our camping trip since Sunday, but I haven't taken the time to blog. It's really hard to find the time with two kiddos.

Anyway, we had a good trip. I realized that camping is not really much of a vacation. I think it's more work to try to keep a camper tidy than a house. And there was no dishwasher so that wasn't fun. But other than that, we really had fun. Jackson wore himself out everyday that we were there. My brother, his wife and two boys came to the campground on Friday evening. Their boys are 5 and 7 and Jack has a good time playing with those guys.

Jackson started doing something kind of funny while we were there. He's been blowing zerberts. Yeah, I don't know how in the world you spell the word zerbert. But he blows on the palm of his hand to make a farting noise and then he blows it to people like you would blow a kiss. I thought is was pretty clever. Rachel, did he learn this from one of your boys, or did he make it up?

Here are a few pictures from the trip. I'll be glad when I can actually post some pictures of the little dude. I probably could and get away with it, but I'm not going to take any chances. I love the picture of Jackson and my nephew, Garrett going down the water slide. Jackson is practically see-through (like his mom) and Garrett is sporting a nice tan.

By the way, I was able to get in and out of the camper. I had no more problems with the front door. I did, however, have a hard time with the microwave, the oven, the mini blinds, and the shower. All of those things work just as they should. The problem was the common denominator....me.

Camping

The four of us are leaving tomorrow to go camping for a few days. We're going to Jelly Stone Park in Waller. Phillip's parents are taking their camper over there for us tomorrow and then they're going to come back and pick it up. (Thanks, folks!) It looks like a pretty neat little camp ground with lots of stuff for kids to do.

Jackson and I went to the store earlier and got some groceries and took them over the camper. After we got all the groceries in the camper and put away, I realized that I had no idea how to open the front door. And it was hot! I tried every handle combination I could think of and I could not get it open. Jackson didn't know how to open it either. Jackson's solution to the problem: "Oh well, I guess we'll just have to play." I felt like SUCH an idiot...and rightly so. So, we waited around for about 45 minutes or so for Donald and Debbie to get home from work and let us out of the camper. So I'm hoping that the rest of our camping experience is better than it was today.

I would totally make fun of some one if I heard about this happening to them. So I expect no less from all of you. I'm an idiot. It's official.

The Unwelcome Fellow Traveler

I'm reading The Horse and His Boy, book 3 in the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. I think this one and The Last Battle are probably my favorites out of the seven books. I just got to the part where Shasta (the boy) is wandering in the mountains at night on a horse he doesn't know how to control. He is lost and hungry and exhausted. He has run away from his abusive "adoptive" father. He has been separated from his traveling companions. He's feeling hopeless and scared. And then he becomes aware of a presence beside him. This is my favorite conversation in this book.

"I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you."
"Then it was you who wounded Aravis?"
"It was I."
"But what for?"
"Child," said the Voice, "I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own."
"Who are you?" asked Shasta.
"Myself," said the Voice, very deep and low so that the earth shook: and again "Myself," loud and clear and gay: and then the third time "Myself," whispered so softy you could hardly hear it, and yet it seemed to come from all round you as if the leaves rustled with it.

This just paints such a cool picture of God. Aslan, the lion is fierce,terrifying, and even violent. Aslan chased the horses and children so they were in fear for their lives. The fear caused them to travel faster than they could have without it. He struck the girl and left ten claw marks on her back. Aslan is dangerous. But he is good.

Tommy spoke at our church yesterday about molding God into a god that is more manageable and convenient for our lives. And how when we do this, we are worshiping an idol. We are not worshiping the true God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. God is dangerous. He is not convenient or manageable. But He is good.

I like how this chapter is called The Unwelcome Fellow Traveler. I feel like that with God more than I would like to admit. Like he's an unwelcome presence in my life. Like I'm on this journey and if I want to invite him along, then he should come. But otherwise, he should leave me alone and let me do my own thing. I'm really glad he doesn't.

This part in this book is also a good reminder that my story is the one I need to be concerned about. I shouldn't question the spiritual condition of others. That's not my business. That's not for me to know or understand. And I don't need to look at the lives of other people and think I know what God is doing with or in their lives. Other people also don't need to look at my life or circumstances and try to put God in a little box that explains why things happen the way they do.

Anyway, it's a cool book. You should read it sometime.

Fortune?

I got a fortune cookie this evening and this is what the fortune says:

"When the moment comes, take the last one from the left."

What the heck does that mean? Like take the last one on the left? Can't these people be a little more specific about this stuff. I mean, I could very likely miss this moment...whatever it is...just because I can't follow these ridiculous instructions.

Phillip got a fortune years ago that said "You will get some new clothes." Well, duh. That's a given.

I think I would like to be a fortune cookie writer when I grow up. It would be fun to write some wacky stuff just to mess with people. Like....

• Follow someone else's dreams. Their dreams are probably better than yours.
• Smile at a stranger. Then when they turn the corner bust out laughing.
• A surprise awaits you on Tuesday, noon at Wal-Mart.
• You just ate a cat.

CPS Clothing Voucher

A couple of times per year, foster families receive clothing vouchers from the state to purchase clothes for their foster kids. We've only been foster parents for 6 months, so I'm not sure, but I think you get two per year per kid. Anyway, we got our voucher today for Mikey. The vouchers that we have received have to be used at JCPenney. And JCPenney is having a huge sale right now....I think they have huge sales every other day. So, I just came home with a boatload of clothes for that little kid. I added up the retail price of the clothes and it came to a whopping $223.00. But after all the discounts, it came to $91.00. That's 1 buck over what the state paid for. So, for $1, we now have little boy clothes size 12-24 months coming out of our ears. Just because I know you're dying to know what all I bought, here's a list:

• 4 onesies
• 3 t-shirts
• 4 pairs of shorts
• 2 pairs of pants
• 4 polo style shirts
• 3 creepers
• 1 jacket
• 1 pair of pajamas

It is so much more fun to buy lots of stuff if you don't have to pay for it. Once he's adopted all that will end so I better enjoy it now. At least that's one good thing about him being a foster child. But I think knowing he's mine forever will be much sweeter than all these free clothes.

Just a little horse

Jackson told me an interesting bed time story tonight. Now, keep in mind that he is five and still quite innocent. I really don't think he meant the name of his main character to be as "offensive" as some may find it. I just thought it was really funny and worth sharing in spite of the language. So, here is tonight's bed time story as told by Jackson:

"Once upon a time there was a little horse named Hell Hogg Willie. And Hell Hogg Willlie went walking in the forest and he peeked through the grass and he heard a noise
CRASH, CRASH….SNORT, SNORT,….

And he saw a bird. (Horse noise) (Bird noise)

And then he walked some more and looked behind more grass. And he saw another horse and then he gave up. The End."

So, that's it. That's the story. I hope you enjoyed it. I think maybe there's some deeper meaning behind all of it, but I haven't really had the time to think on it yet.

Circus

We went to the Ringling Brothers Circus last night at Reliant Stadium. Phillip, his mom, the boys, and myself witnessed "The Greatest Show on Earth." The show itself was good, but we didn't all have seats together so that was kind of stinky.

The Arrow Project (the fostering agency we're with) offered passes to their foster families. So we were supposed to go to the ticket thing and pay $5 per ticket because of these discount voucher things we had. We got to the show an hour and a half early and they still only had single seats left. It worked out fine, though. Debbie took Jackson to just sit on her lap and the seat they had was very close to the front. And it turned out the seat next to them stayed empty so Jack was able to have his own seat. Phillip and I sat near each other and traded the baby back and forth. The experience was great for Jack but we really shouldn't have brought the baby. It was 11:00 before we got home.

Overall it was a pretty good show. But if a foster family had shown up with more than one kid per adult, they would not have been able to use those things at all. They would have had to pay about $40 per person. And once you get in there to find that out, you've already paid 8 bucks for parking. I know I shouldn't complain. We were all able to see the circus for $20 but I just don't think they should give those vouchers to foster families if the kids are not going to be able to sit with their parents.

The stuff they were selling was ridiculously expensive. They had these little stuffed white tigers for $14. And of course the food and drinks are outrageous. It's like you see these people carrying two hot dogs, nachos, some drinks and you know that just paid like $50 for all that stuff.

I guess we're just really cheap or something....which is why we ended up with single seats.

Fountain pictures

We went to the Civic Center fountain last week and I got a few pictures of Jackson. He brought along some "noodle" thing to play with. Looks like he's got a pretty good golf stance in the last picture. Not quite sure what he's doing in the first one. That poor boy needs a tan.

Party in My Tummy

There's this new kids' show called Yo Gabba Gabba that is going to be coming to Nick Jr. in the Fall. From what I've seen, it's pretty odd.


Anyway, they've been playing one of their song clips on Noggin the last few days. It's called "Party in My Tummy" and Mikey hates it. It's so hilarious to watch him watch this video. The first time he saw it, he started crying a little the fist time the green monster came on the screen. And each time he saw the monster, he started crying more and more. He is terrified of this monster. I think he's afraid he's going to have to join the party in the monster's tummy. And I know it's really mean to laugh at a scared baby, but we just can't help it. It's just so funny. Anyway, here's a You Tube clip of it. It was recorded off of their t.v. so it looks pretty junky. Enjoy!

Jackson is CRAZY

Jackson has just gotten nutser and nutser with each passing year. He was funny at two. He was still funny, but quite a bit more annoying at three. He was bordering on just plain obnoxious at four. And now that he's five, he just driving me flat bonkers! He doesn't really misbehave, he just gets on my nerves. Can you punish a kid for just getting on your nerves?? He's still funny, but he tries too hard to be funny so it's not as funny anymore. We were seriously considering home schooling him for kindergarten in the fall. Seriously considering it. After careful consideration, we decided to send him on to real kindergarten. The other day Jackson was acting like his insane self and I said, "It's a good thing we're not homeschooling him because I think I would have to become an alcoholic to be able to make it through the day." Not really funny, I know. (And not really serious either Mom and Debbie.)

Jackson does some pretty funny little accents here and there that he's picked up. Kind of British, but not really. But if we laugh at him he keeps saying the same thing 50,000 more times until I think my brain is going to explode. And he has this fake laugh that he does at Mikey to get Mikey laughing. I just don't really know how to describe it except really loud and really nerdy. And he probably says "Huh?" atleast 50 times a day. I can't wait until he picks up lots more annoying habits from the little worms he'll be in school with.

But he dances pretty cool. And Phillip and I noticed the other day that he's nailed down some of the best argument phrases in the world like "but still" and "no, for real" and "come on" and "Dude!" And he likes to kiss me on the arm and Phillip on the head. So, I suppose he does have some redeeming qualities.

Update on future (hopefully) Micah Hintze

Most of you reading this probably received my e-mail update on Tuesday. But I figured I would just post it anyway. We had court on Tuesday and found out that bio. mom intends to relinquish her parental rights. Just because she intends to do it, doesn't mean she'll actually do it. But atleast we know she's not fighting to get him back. If she doesn't relinquish, we will probably have trial to terminate around November. That's kind of a guess on my part because the "pre-trial" is set for October 23rd. Anyway, things are going about as good with him as we possibly could have hoped for. And he's just so dang cute. It's really pretty ridiculous how cute he is.

We had a good scare a couple months into this thing by the CPS worker telling us that mom was doing "great." Her definition of "great" and mine must be very different. Funny how some people really like to use the word "great" a lot. But that's another post for another day.

What a difference a year makes!

I don't mean for this to be a morbid post or anything, so if it makes anyone uncomfortable, I'm sorry.

I realized something pretty cool a little while ago and I thought it was worth sharing. I haven't written in a while about the miscarriages that we've had. Honestly, those losses are not on my mind that much anymore. And that's a good thing. Not that those babies will ever be forgotten. But the pain from loosing them is mostly a memory.

Anyway, what's cool is that I just realized we got Mikey a year....almost to the moment we found out about our fourth baby. I had my appointment on January 11, 2006 at 4:15. I found out at that appointment they could not find a heart beat. They sent me to the hospital where I had an ultrasound at 5:47 when they confirmed the baby was not alive.

CPS walked in our door with Mikey at 5:30 p.m. on January 11, 2007. One year later. I think that's pretty cool. He's brought a lot of healing to this family.

Crazy ABC's

We've been working with Jackson more with his letters and numbers. He'll be going to Kindergarten in the fall and his writing really needs some work. So here is a picture of Jackson's alphabet. I especially like the Q.




On a completely unrelated side note, Mr. "Micabee" got his first temporary tattoo at an Astro's game on Sunday. I wish I could post pictures. Things are looking very good regarding keeping this kid. We have court on Tuesday and I should know more after that's over.

Should I be worried?

Phillip and I went in to check on Jackson before we went to bed and this is what we found....





White Noey (The original), Blue Noey (the replacement), and Brown Noey (the extra) are all hanging on for dear life from Jack's top bunk.

Work stuff

I feel pretty defeated at work lately. I just feel like I'm not doing a good job and I'm letting little things slip through the cracks. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's the added time and attention another child requires. I don't know if maybe my heart is just not in it or what. Anyway, I need to step it up and start paying more attention to what I'm doing. I feel like I could easily be replaced with someone who would do a more thorough job. Attention to detail has never been my strong suit. This is not coming from any kind of reprimand or anything like that. It's just something I feel within myself. I wish I could just make a part time income doing something I actually enjoy, but I don't see that in the near future. I'm not really as down in the dumps as this post may appear. I'm just stating the fact that I'm not keeping all these balls in the air very well.

Update on crazy School Supply Lady

Ok, so it's the school supply lady (I'll use the term "lady" loosely here) who is so against the Tattoo shop near our church. Anyway, on Sunday she put a bunch of flyers on cars out in our parking lot. I didn't see it but I heard that it had a picture of the Tattoo shop in Brazoria, you know the one with the skull heads, and it said something like, "Help keep this out of our neighborhood." I probably have the quote completely wrong, but you get the idea. So, now we not only have the neighboring pizza place trashing up our vehicles while we're busy doing the church thing but we also have the crazy School Supply Lady doing it too. I think I'm going to create a flyer that says, "Stop putting trash on our cars while we worship our Lord" or something holier than though like that and post them all over their places of business. Maybe I'll even put our church logo on it. That would be a great idea. I could be the first person ever to be fired from our church. Who knows, maybe it would pave the way.....

So, that's the latest news. If any of you are interested in making C.S.S.L. really ticked off, go to the City Council meeting and show off your tattoos. I think I'm going to get one or two just for the occasion.

Tattoo

There is a local business owner who wants to open up a tattoo shop near our church building. My first thought when I heard about this was "who cares?"

Well, apparently another local business owner near our church cares a great deal. She is trying her darnedest to keep it from opening up. She is going to other businesses near by and she's contacted and visited our church office to rally the troops to get on board with her. There is a City Council meeting about it on the 7th I think. She's bugged one of our pastors about making an appearance and/or writing a letter against it. I'm pretty sure she's going to be disappointed. I just don't think our staff really cares one way or another about it. And I am really glad about that. If we're trying to reach a younger generation like we say we are then we really shouldn't be afraid of tattooed people or the shops that they visit. Anyway, I just think it's amusing that this woman is getting all bent out of shape about this. She even went to Brazoria and took polaroids of this tattoo artist's current shop so she could show that he has skulls in his window. Oh no!! Skulls! How evil and sick! Again, who cares? If it were naked ladies (or men...gross) that would be one thing. Our five year old plays with pirate stuff that has skulls on it.

Our five year old also has fake tattoos. Right now he has four. See below. If tattoos are so immoral and horrible, then why do so many little boys and girls have fake ones all over their bodies? I wonder if that soap box business woman sells kids' fake tattoos in her store. Maybe I'll call and ask.


I could understand her getting upset if it were a strip club or a "toy" shop. Would she be this upset if a Borders or some other book store were opening up nearby? Books in and of themselves are not bad. But there are plenty of "bad" books that I wouldn't want my child exposed to. Anyway, I'm pretty annoyed that she's so adamant about this whole thing. Maybe she'll decide to move her business elsewhere and our church can utilize her business space. That could work out nicely.

Family stuff

I'm so glad that school is out for Jackson and I can't wait for Phillip to be done. Friday is his last day. We really love having him home. Sure, there are times that I wish he would go away somewhere for a little while, but for the most part, it's great. I'm pretty sure I get on his nerves more than he gets on mine. It will be really good for Jackson to have his daddy home with him for 2 1/2 months. I've kind of felt like Jack has not had a lot of individual time with us since we got the baby. I think we've done the best we could have done, but a second child just takes some time away from the first. It amazes me how patient, understanding, and forgiving Jackson is. He's just been a huge help since we got baby M. Jackson is a very special little boy. Anyway, enough gooshing on and on about Jackson.

(Side note: Phillip and Jackson are playing a Wii game and I just heard Jackson say, "Dad, I'm so proud of you. I'm just so happy at you.")

About the baby, it's been over seven weeks now since he's had a visit with his biological mom. And as of now, no more visits have been scheduled. We were told when we got him that his mom would be allowed weekly visits and so far she's only seen him two times in four months. I feel pretty optimistic that he's here to stay. But until the ink is dry on the paper, anything could change. He has a court date towards the end of June. They could start talking termination at that point. They won't actually terminate at that time, but they may set a termination date. They could also change his legal status to adoption rather than family reunification. It's just terminology, but it's something. Anyway, we've decided that if we're able to adopt him, we're going to name him Micah Benjamin Hintze. His given name is not Micah. But he's young enough that he probably won't know the difference. We call him Micah B. (Micabee) most of the time anyway. So, from now on when I refer to him, I'll refer to him as Micah. I'm tired of calling him "Baby M." on my blog.

Phillip's brother is getting married in August to my "dream girl." I wanted him to marry her way back when she was in our youth group at our previous church. I mean, I didn't want him to marry her then, I was just hoping then that he would marry her someday. Anyway, it's pretty cool. Jackson is going to be the ring bearer, so I hope doesn't screw that up. I'm going to be taking some engagement pictures for them this weekend, and I hope I don't screw that up.

More about Jackson...
Jackson has somehow gotten it in his big head that it's the mommy's responsibility to clean up the house, take care of the baby, cook, and all that other stuff that's stereotypically "women's work." He likes to remind me sometimes of things I have left undone around the house. Not cool, kid, not cool. I can't wait until he's big enough to do some work around here without just making more work for me. I am determined that he's going to be a good husband someday. And that means he needs to know how to do laundry, cook, and clean toilets.

Did you read that, Phillip??? Clean toilets! They don't magically clean themselves. Oh, man, I bet he wishes he was teaching summer school! He thinks he's getting a summer break. Ha!

The Cute Years

Well, I'm afraid that Jackson's little lip busting thing from a few weeks ago is going to cost him atleast one of his top front teeth. I noticed a little while ago that his right top tooth is beginning to turn gray. And the one next to it looks like it might be slightly discolored also. He has a dentist appt. for Thursday of next week and we'll find out for sure what's going on. If that tooth is dying, then he'll either be without that tooth or he'll have a discolored tooth until his permanent teeth come in. Which means that Jackson's cute years are almost gone. Once kids get their big permanent teeth, they're just a little goofy looking until they get to be about 17. Of course, there are exceptions. Oh, well, I guess he'll still be cute to us. I'm glad I got some good pictures of him before the incident.

Jackson's Birthday

Today is Jackson's 5th birthday. We celebrated it on Saturday. Just in the couple of minutes that he has been awake he has said a couple of funny things about turning 5.

I heard him stirring in his bed this morning so I went in his room and started singing the birthday song. And he said, "I was just saying that to myself." I asked him what he was saying to himself. And he said that he was saying "Happy Birthday" to himself.

Then we went into the bathroom and he immediately got on the scale. And he said, "Huh, I thought I would weigh more."

Siberian Adoption Story

Today I watched a show on TLC or some TLC(like) channel about adopting from Siberia. They showed the journey of two families adopting babies from Siberia. Anyway, one of the women said several things during this 30 minute show that were so tacky. Here are a few quotes...to the best of my memory.

"She (the baby) looks so American. You can't get American babies in America."
"You don't want to spend $35,000 for a baby and then have her turn on you someday."
"Do you feel like someone just handed you someone else's baby and said, 'Here, you deal with it.'"
"Get that f*****ng camera out of my face."

Yeah, this woman was a real piece of work. Usually when I've seen adoption stories, the parents seem like wonderful, giving people. She seemed like....well, you know. I especially loved the comment about not being able to get an American baby in America. I think what she meant is that you can't get a white baby in America. Like a person has to be white to "look American." Anyway, just goes to show you that not only can idiots give birth, but idiots can also adopt.

Baby update

I guess the real update is that there is no update. It's been almost two weeks since he was supposed to have a visit with bio. mom. And I haven't heard a word from C.P.S. since then. I really expected to hear from them before now to reschedule the visit. So, as far as I'm concerned, no news is good news. He will have a court date in less than two months. At that time, we'll have a much better idea (I hope) about where we stand. I'm really hoping that bio. mom has not been attending the classes/therapy that she was assigned. If that's the case, they could start talking about termination of parental rights soon. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself or start assuming things that I know nothing about. But I do know that if she were doing well, she would be seeing a heck of a lot more of the baby. So, anyway, that's about it. I feel much better about things than I did a month or so ago.

Who Cares?

Yesterday and today I keep hearing about Rosie O'Donnell quitting The View. So what! Who gives a rip? I didn't even know she was on The View until she quit. I think she is one of the most obnoxious human beings alive today.....and one of the prettiest. Ha!

Busted!

We got back from the Emergency Room a little while ago. Jackson busted his lip up pretty good. I think he was trying to "help" Phillip lift his curl bar when he fell off of the office chair and ate the curl bar. Anyway, these things happen with little boys. Thankfully, he was actually dressed when it happened. Usually he's just running around in his underwear. He was a pretty tough kid through the whole thing. He ended up with five stitches on the outer part of his lip and two stitches on the inside. This is Jackson's first experience with the Emergency Room. They actually got us in and out of there in about an hour and a half. That's pretty amazing. So, anyway, here are some pictures. He looks quite a bit different than he did in the pictures from yesterday.

Almost 5

Jackson will be five years old in less than two weeks. That is really hard to believe. We went to my mom's house today and I got some pictures of Jackson and Baby M. Here are a few of Jackson. He's such a cutie.

Canceled

Well, the visit today was canceled. I wasn't given a reason and I couldn't post it on here even if I was. But I am SO EXCITED AND RELIEVED! This is yet another small victory for us. I'm smiling from ear to ear as I type this. Thanks for praying.

Visit today

We have a scheduled visit today with M.'s bio. mom. It will just be one hour supervised, but I still dread these visits. I get pretty nervous when I drive up to the place and get ready to go inside. I guess as time goes by, maybe I won't get so nervous anymore. Anyway, please pray for us today. I really hope she decides to cancel the visit. That would make my day.

You are wanted

Some friends of ours had a baby girl yesterday morning. She has been long awaited. She was born into a wonderful family with many adoring friends. We went to the hospital to visit her. It is such a neat thing to be a part of the excitement that a new baby brings. There were several groups of people gathered around the nursery windows looking at the wrinkled, little screaming newborns. Everyone thinks that the baby they are there to see is the cutest one in the nursery. It is so cool to be part of the celebration of a new life.


As we were there looking at those babies, I couldn't help thinking about baby M. Who was there to adore him through the glass? Who was there taking pictures of him and going on and on about his hair color or long eyelashes? Was his entrance into this world overlooked until he got to our house? How sad to think that this beautiful child could have spent the first two days of his life without being bathed in the excitement most other babies are bathed in. Did he have a nursery waiting for him with his biological family? Did his mom have a baby shower and receive gifts she has not had a chance to use? Somehow, I doubt it.

When he got to our house, all of that changed. He became the most beautiful baby in the world. He received gifts and was doted over. He was photographed. He had an instant family. He was kissed and held and whispered to. He was placed in a room that was lovingly prepared for him. He was wanted.

I tell him that a lot. I know he doesn't understand what I'm saying to him. But I think he needs to hear it anyway. I hold him close and I whisper in his ear, "You are wanted. You are not a mistake. You are a gift and right now at this time in your life, you are wanted."

My boys

After I got done with my previous post, I went into the living room to find this sight. Aren't they cute?

Looking Back, Looking Forward

This morning's church service was pretty difficult for Phillip and me. Greg and Tommy answered some questions that people in our church have had about pain and suffering. It's impossible to actually come to any real resolution on this subject, especially in less than an hour. But I think they did a really good job of tackling the subject.

Anyway, this service caused me to think about some things that I don't think of so much anymore. For the first time in a while, I thought about Evan. I thought about holding him and seeing him. I thought about being pregnant with him and feeling him move within me. I thought about the cast we have of his little hands and feet prints. I thought about the memorial service we had for him and the two babies we lost before him. I remembered again why we feel so bonded to some close friends of ours. It was good to let myself think of that stuff again. But it was also very difficult. I was told to be prepared but you really can't be prepared for emotion. It just comes when it comes and goes when it goes. You can't really do a whole lot to prepare for it either way.

After I got home from church, I got on my blog and read some stuff that I wrote during that time in our lives. I have not revisited those words in a very long time. In fact, the link to June 2005 is a link that I avoid even looking at, let alone actually clicking on. But today I did. I read all of it again and I'm very glad that I chose to write during that time. I could have decided to keep it all to myself. But if I had kept it to myself it would not have been there to comfort me today. I'm glad that I am able to go back and be reminded (by myself of all people) that God is faithful. I'm relieved to see that someone can live through that and come out on the other side with their sanity (sort of) and their sense of humor intact.

I'm glad I wrote it because in a different way, we are facing again the possible loss of another baby we have come to love. The terror that gripped me back then has been creeping back in lately and I read some things today that I needed to hear. To quote myself, I read that.....

"These babies were never mine to hold onto in the first place." - June 14, 2005

"...But until then I will trust that God is sovereign, He is on His throne, He has not forsaken me, and He desires and deserves my love." - June 14, 2005

"But the thing is that He is God. And I'm not saying that He does cause or allow things to happen, but so what if He does? He's God, and who am I to question what He is doing?" - July 31, 2005

"I look forward to seeing how I will be refined for His purpose. I welcome whatever else God sees fit to add to my job description. Bring it on! I'm ready! And for the times when I am not ready, that is when He will show Himself to me in ways I never could have imagined." - July 31, 2005

"Embrace your joy, but know that it may be paired with grief." - July 13, 2005

And so, by looking back on some things that I wrote in the past, I have been given a little nudge to look forward to the future. I'm still scared of losing another baby. But I know that whatever happens, I will be o.k. I will persevere. I will be comforted and I will provide comfort. This life is a blink. I am here to learn. Every good thing is a gift from God. For however long we have it, it is a gift. My children are gifts for however long I have them. I'm so thankful right now that my arms are full. I hope to always consider this time in my life as a blessed time no matter what the outcome may be.

Fat Healthy Baby

Little M. is getting so big and chunky. He's just got the cutest little rolly body. I wish I could post some pictures of him. But most of you who read this see him somewhat regularly anyway. I want to take him out somewhere like the College or something soon and get some more pictures of him. I want to get some of him in just his diaper so it needs to be kind of warm outside. We have absolutely fallen in love with this baby. He's very pleasant. He doesn't cry very often. He wakes up in the morning talking and smiling. This has been a time in our lives that we will always remember very fondly. He's just really cool.

What will I be when I grow up?

Until recently, I haven't given a whole lot of thought to what kind of career I might want to have some day. I haven't wanted to have any kind of career as long as I have preschoolers at home. Jack will be starting kindergarten in the fall. And of course, we are hoping like crazy we are able to adopt the new little guy. If that happens, I would continue to stay home and just work part time until he is school aged. But if things don't go the way we hope, I may think about going to work full time...for the first time in my life. I really don't like the thought of going to a job early in the morning Mon-Fri and getting home just in time to start cooking dinner. But, it would really allow us to get ourselves in a much better financial situation.

Anyway, I think at some point down the road I'll probably go through an alternative certification program for becoming a teacher. Here is the website for the Region IV alternative certification program. I have enough core hours for Early Childhood Generalist. So, assuming I could get a position locally, I could teach kindergarten-fourth grade. I think I would like that...at least for two or three years. I could also teach Secondary Business courses. That would be AWESOME!! Oh man, I think I'd rather be beaten and left for dead. O.k., I guess it wouldn't be that bad. If I taught for three years or so, we could probably pay off our house and cars and then I would never have to work again. That would be the only reason I would be willing to do it. I think during those three years I would be a horrible person to live with. I barely keep up with house work and grocery shopping now so I can't imagine how I'd do it if I were working full time. I know lots of women do it but I'm not sure if I could handle it for very long.

Sort of along the same lines, but not really....
I believe that some day (hopefully before we're old and gray) either me or Phillip or both of us will have careers that we love. That is really a dream of mine. Phillip likes his job o.k., but he is capable of so much more. Not that teaching isn't a noble and necessary field, but I feel like he's barely tapping into his musical abilities and gifts in his current job. I guess most people probably feel like their job is just a way to pay the bills. We are grateful for his job and that is does pay the bills. I think we both are really hoping for more some day. We need to find somewhere within ourselves the drive to make our dreams a reality.

Poor Kiefer

Well, it's kind of strange that I just blogged about our cat a few days ago. Kiefer got hit by a car this morning and died. Poor little thing. He was only about 6 months old. He was pretty bad about laying down in the middle of the road and not moving out of the way of cars.

I think the hardest thing about it was having to tell Jackson. That cat slept on Jack's bed almost every night. After I picked Jackson up from preschool, I pulled over in a parking lot and parked the truck and told him to come sit in the front seat with me. I told him that Kiefer got hit by a car. He asked me if he was still alive. When he realized he was dead, his eyes welled up with tears and in a quivering voice he said, "Well, we'll just have to get a new kitty." He said that if we get a new kitty, he'll be more fun than our other kitty. Man, I guess I was expecting a little more sympathy from Jackson. When we were almost home he said, "He was just a baby kitty. And it's more sad when baby kitties get hit by cars than when kid kitties or gown up kitties get hit by cars." I told him I agreed with that.

So, anyway, I'm pretty sad about the whole thing. He was a really good cat. And as far as I'm concerned a good cat is hard to come by. I don't think Phillip and I are going to be just real eager to run out and get another cat. I guess we'll have to see how Jack feels about things over the next few days. Overall, we have not had very good luck with cats.

A BIRD!!

A BIRD...HE KILLED A BIRD..

OOPS, MY BAD! (I hate it when people say that.)

The Cat

In an effort to avoid cleaning the house, I thought I would take a few minutes to write about our cat.

First of all, he is a much better cat than our previous cat, Travis. Travis was a royal pain in the butt from the moment we got him. He had a really loud whine that drove us all crazy. Kiefer, the new cat, doesn't do that. He rarely ever meows. We occasionally hear him whine a little, but he's not very persistent. If he doesn't get what he wants, he just moves on with his life. He stays outside most of the time, but we let him for a little while everyday. He just comes in and eats and sleeps. If he wants to go back outside, he just goes and lays down in front of the front door until someone notices he's there. We can't leave any of the baby's stuff laying around or he'll get it and decide it's a toy. He's chewed up two pacifiers and one bottle nipple so far. But other than that, he's pretty cool. He killed (or destroyed as Jack would say) a few days ago and drug it onto our porch. It's probably still there. I'm certainly not going to deal with it. Man, you know there's nothing noteworthy going on if I have to blog about our cat.

Surprise!

As I was taking Jackson to preschool today, I passed by a church that likes to post "clever" sayings out on their message board thing. Today it said, "Surprise God: Show up Easter Sunday." I think that is really tacky. Just thought I would share.